Hummer Song

Bad Country Lyrics
Volume 2
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Was It Something I Stepped In?
Chorus
Today, I stepped in something that reminded me of you.
Was it my broken beating heart or just some awful smelling goo
It could have been feces, or guano stuck in my boots
Whatever it was dear, I scraped with a root
I washed it off with water, and dried it with your bothers wielding cap
It this was love darling, it sure is a load of crap
Soon I know I'll be over it, but
But you remind me of a pile of spit.
3 verses
The Hummer Song
1st verse
When I was in the Army
They gave me quite a treat
Introduced me to my new best friend
A truck called the 4 wheeled Hum-Vee
It was great for climbing hills and rocks and stuff in any terrain
I loved that big mean green fightin machine
We went from Hood to old Kileen
In a house of girls, one ask me what I liked best
This is what I told her is gooder than all the rest.
Chorus
I like
Hummers in the Morning
Hummers in the evening
Hummers at night
With a new Hummer I put up one hell of a fight
Hummers make me happy
Hummers make me smile
With a Hummer I can put up with anything for a while
3 more verses
Damned Old Boo-Ray
Passing Time in Lafayette
I stopped to bum a cigarette
From a man that told me about a game
That can make a gambling man go insane
I followed him to a local Inn
And with 6 Cajuns and a redneck we begin
I'll show you just once
Don't play trickless or on a hunch
Have a drink and let's play Boo-Ray
Chorus
Match the Pot
Pass the deal
You'll get hot
Is this hand for real
Life is like playing cards
Sometimes easy
Sometimes hard
Should I stay
Or should I fold
All I got is a damn old Boo-Ray
3 more verses
Boy's Town Clown
Years ago a bunch of us went to Boy's Town across from Brownsville. A friend of mine, James Baker had never tasted the pleasures of Tequila or of Boys Town. He had a few too many and had a great time until he confused a young boy dancer with a young lady. The comment was made James that's a homo you homo and a large group of Mexican hombres started eyeing us for a fight .
Chorus
I'm a clown in Boys Town tonight.
Drink quick, have fun but don't fight
The Federales will run you in
You'll need 10 grand from your kin
Oh my,
That girl up on the table
Put my face below her navel
They wipe the table and steal your drink
But it's nicer than a Mexican Klink
Drink quick, have fun but don't fight
I'm a clown in boy's town tonight
3 verses
Tumble Inn , Stumble Out Years ago there was a cantina on the outskirts of Laredo that was built on the side of a gorge. I went there 30 years ago with a couple of Mexican truck drivers. There was a back door with a 2 foot ledge and then a 20 foot drop to the bottom of a deep revine. These are lyrics in search of a melody. If you are interested I'll send you the rest.
Chorus I'm stumblin out the Tumble Inn
in Laredo,
Watch that first step it's quite a drop
Only 18 feet to the bottom of the arroyo
I'm glad I had my hat to fall the stop
They got warm hands, cold cervesa and tender barbaquoa
Just like old Mexico
If you're leaving by the back door
You better be ready to go
3 verses
Texas Hold-em
One eyed Jacks
And Foul Mouthed Jills
Turning those Cards
Give Me Quite a Thrill
Staying til the River
Is Ruining My Liver
Watching that Guy
Squirm and Sweat
Makes Me Want to
Double My Bet
Chorus
I love Texas Hold -em
It's time to double up
Or Fold-em
Pots in Stud are Duds
Draw drew too much Blood
I play Omaha with my Paw
I Loose at Razz to My Ma
But I Love Texas Hold-em
2 more verses
These lyrics were written for fun. I find it just as humbling as golf. I can't carry a tune or play a guitar and now you know I can't write very well either. There are no melodies to go with these lyrics, but I reserve all rights in case somebody needs a bad song.
C 2003 , All rights reserved, Dean Philpot ,2806 Elm Grove Ct, Kingwood Texas 77339 snipped-for-privacy@yahoo.com
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Well, Major Philpot, [I figure you at least got to be one a these if'n you can ford a hummer]. Back when a buck was almost a buck, many year ago, I seen me first one a these with a 40K price tag at a boat show. I reckon that was before civies was supposed to know we had such tecknoligy. Hum on, and thanks for your support.
Hatt
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