Strange Compression test results anybody have any experience with this?

I am officially welcoming myself to the world of BMW ownership. I just purchased a 1992 325i E36. The car will turnover but will not start, it was
very disturbing too look under the hood and see no battery I was amazed that the car even turned over with no battery but alas a look in the trunk and there it was... Anyway there was a compression test done on the car and the first 3 cylinders have basically no compression the last 3 seem to be ok. When I turned the car over I did not hear any clacking or rapping noises it didn't sound like anything had broken loose internally. I am hoping someone out there might have some insight into this. I am trying to use some logical deduction to make an educated guess at the problem but am going in circles. Here are some of my thoughts any insight would be truly appreciated.
Valves could have 3 open valves, but find this stange all three would pop open at once. Could this be a broken camshaft?
Rings could be worn or shot rings but all 3 at the same time again not sure if that is likely or not.
Head gasket? Could it be leaking at these 3 cylinders only? Seems to be the most logical thought at this point.
Total meltdown the crankshaft could have sprung those 3 rods free and now the pistons are not moving at all?
You can see my circular thought process here and I am not a mechanic only trying to apply what I have been able to read. Through hours of googling I have not found a similiar scenario with no compression in multiple cylinders.
Thanks! Dan
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Howling Motor Sports wrote:

How about a broken timing chain?
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Would there be any audible clues too a broken timing chain?
Thanks, Dan

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Not that I'm aware of.
Howling Motor Sports wrote:

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I'm guessing that one cam - the M50 is a dual-cam engine - is broken and the intake or exhaust side is frozen in one position.
Floyd
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Just a quick update on this. I started to pull the valve cover off today. I was suprised at what a simple task this is accept when you aren't in your own garage and strip a nut DANG. I'll be completing the removal tomorrow. Not sure if it will give me any more of a clue but I'll post an update anyway. I'll snap off some pics so those of you who aren't as brave/stupid as I am can get a look at the internals of the ultimate driving machine.
~Dan

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