Cyclist Clings To Road-Ragin' Ford Escort?

by a man later charged with kidnapping, second-degree attempted assault, driving under the influence of intoxicants, third-degree criminal mischief and reckless driving in connection with the incident. According to the story, the cyclist yelled "slow down!" after which the driver went back to hit him. But is it real?

Yeah it's real. I live in the city this happened in. Honestly, we all aren't rednecks.

What actually happened is that the cyclist is one of these jerkoff cyclists who's mission in life is to yell obscenities at any driver that passes him at a speed that he thinks is too fast. His usual call is "slow down asshole" Most of us drivers in Portland hear that a lot and we of course ignore it, or at most think to ourselves "just shut the f*ck up"

In this particular instance, the driver was drunk and instead of just doing the right thing and ignoring it, and moving along, the driver decided his manhood must have been insulted and so decided to chase the cyclist down. The cyclist, instead of simply riding off the street and into a narrow alley or some such where the car cannot go, like most normal people would have, decided to play cat and mouse with the car. The end result is what you saw in the picture.

Needless to say when the driver was interviewed by the local paper, his comment was something along the lines of "duhhh, whhaaatttt? Is there something to drink around here?" and the cyclist when he was interviewed gave the impression of a yapping Pomeranian while proceeding to claim that he didn't actually say "asshole" he said "gashole" and that he was "frightened for his life" yet if he had to do it over again he wouldn't change a thing, and still plans to continue yelling at drivers that he thinks are going too fast. Whereupon after the interview, the cyclist then proceeded to go zoobombing. For an explanation of what kind of insane ritual zoobombing is, view some of these:

Basically, what we have here is the equivalent of what happens during your typical drunk frat party. Unfortunately both the driver and the biker aren't dealing with campus security, they are dealing with a city police force which is pretty fed up with the baloney on both sides of the fence, and is looking to throw the book at some scapegoats.

Ted