Flimsy Plastic Front-End Work DOES Serve a Purpose
If you drive a GM passenger car, you know what I'm talking about. Its all
the plastic under the faux front bumper which overhangs the wheelbase for
convenient scraping the pavement when negotiating road dips, snow and mud
ruts and less than ideal driveways. Whether you address this fancy-work as
valence panels, streamlining, cooling system ducts, air dams, under panels,
chin scoops, or just plain plastic, they are a royal pain in the ass.
Every scrape sends chills down my spine that maybe I just tore up the
underbody or ruined the undercarriage.
But, they do serve a purpose, for GM and the Government. For GM, its a
steady flow of parts replacements for those customers not limited to
driving down San Vicente Blvd. in Beverly Hills. GM knows most towns
around this land of ours have North Korean style unpaved alleyways and even
city streets that get really nasty in the winter and will rip this plastic
garbage to shreds. You knew that already about the profit motive behind
this shameful emblishment. However, I bet you didn't know about the
Government angle: The Government got its foothold in auto building in a big
way with its smog laws and the OBD II mandated standards; it didn't stop
there. After the EPA sank its teeth into the business, the FBI got into
the act. Its the force of FBI directives that is the real reason why GM
builds cars that drag and scrape on every excuse of a roadway. The FBI
knows when you run over a pedestrian, the plastic breaks off and falls in
the street. All they have to do is match up the broken pieces with the now
jagged bodywork on the car and presto! the hit-and-run car is located. Its
just like the pieces of Mr. Krabs pirate map, it is.
Now you know why you can't curse only GM for hanging this trash on your
car. Its the Government's fault and this fact is irrefruitable.