A Michigan environmental group has issued a study report that claims up to 500,000 people, mostly middle class elderly, die from side-effects of "New Car Smell' each year.
"We have previously reported on the serious effects of chemical outgassing in these new cars... but these unfortunates were set in their ways of buying new if they could afford it." said Dudley Flora-Smith of the Michigan Anti-Plasticizerer and Tea Group society.
"But now they are dead, having paid the price for their materialistic profligacy. We are thinking of asking the ACLU to inquire into the possibility of filing a class-action suit on their estates' behalf"
"But it's not only the elderly that suffer," Flora-Smith continued " Exposing infants and newborn to the acrid atmosphere has its price, as well."
Citing the obvious increase in childhood asthma, he adds that "increased addiction to "foolers" - vinyl or latex nipple substitutes- on the part of infants, and the attraction of teens to 'huffing canned chemicals' also are related.
"The odor of the noxious gasses has its effects on the brain's pleasure centers and sets up susceptibility to various life-long addictions!"
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