Every now and then I like to come up with a new gag.
When you're an old fart like me that dates women in the daughter /
could-almost-be-grand-daughter range you have to constantly come up
with new material to keep them entertained. They say no money no
honey, but the reality is that if you want the first rate pussy and
you're no spring chicken yourself, simple cash is no longer enough.
So I tried this one on a recent vacation spot (a good place to try new
gags, because at resorts people are open-minded, less cop happy and
such). Its a good environment for trying new material out.
First, in the parking lot iPod earbuds go in ears even though they are
wired to a pocket with no actual device in it. Next I walk into a CVS
(big box pharmacy for those overseas). But I'm limping and gimping as
I go in, hang a turn for the front counter, and act in total pain and
mutter "just looking for the over-the-counter stuff"... then suddenly
my eyes find the cold beer section, and I take off sprinting toward it
like a Kenyan olympic hopeful with a male lion biting at his ass! (1)
I'm back at the counter in no time with a load of cheap beer in hand,
something like Coors or Bud. Then I pull out the insurance card and
point out that it indicates ten dollar generics. If the total comes
to anything other than exactly ten dollars, I just say "sorry, I can't
cover it man", leave the beer at the counter and hobble out.
She loved that one enough to swallow for the first time.
(1) If this visual offends, substitute for methlab-raiding freckled
Nebraskan cop running from a fight trained pitbull. It doesn't matter
for purposes of your score on this exercise.