Incident

I got another confession to make, I'm a fool. I was involved in a near

fatal speeding "incident" yesterday night on the High Street in Manby. Me and my mate Finbarr were doing our usual Saturday night cruise, and I must have been maxing at about 110mph, pedal to the metal. The lady I was in charge of was a modded Austin Maxi, the engine has alway been a pleasure to work on, and I'd fitted her with all the best kit.

The piece de resistance was the NEXT brushed silver effect tax disc holder. She look(ed) severely pimped with flame paint effects down both wings, and a howling barbary ape on the bonnet. I had "torque of the town" stencilled on the back window.

You get the picture anyway (rinse-out). Anyway, things went horribly wrong when I heard a loud scraping sound down the off-side and the brief yelling of a person. I hauled on the anchors, watching the smoke pour off the tyres as she screeched to a halt. I spin her round, and take her back up the

one-way system towards where the sound happened.

There's a freakin bird there - what we like to call a MILF in these parts of the world, in a shopmobility. She claims the Maxi hit her as she rode onto the zebra crossing outside SupaSnaps. I could see that there were quite clearly marks along the side, and the sound indicated that I had definitely hit something, BUT it was definitely not my fault.

a) The orange lights on the crossing weren't working - so pedestrians did not have right of way b) She didn't have any lights on her wagon c) I don't think she could see very well as she kept screwing up her eyes when she was talking to me

Anyway, she reckons she's going to get her insurance company onto me - but I just laughed because quite clearly I'm going to get my insurance company onto her. However, I have a massive dilemma. Despite the clear disadvantages, she was a hotty. I reckon she can move a bit too as she'd obviously been clubbing, if she's out and about at that time in the morning. I am also in the position where I have her name and number and address, so my question to the floor is this. Do I:

a) Forget my frustrations, pursue the claim and find another bird b) Hold the claim over her head to make sure she beds me (use the guilt trip route) c) Chat her up and kindly offer to forget about the incident and hope that my charms work on her.

I think you'll all agree that this is a tricky one. Please help.

Stan

Reply to
vespakilla
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My money would be on "B"

Reply to
Ronny

How about finding out if she has a grand daughter (or possibly great grand daughter, it's not clear from your post) and trying to use the threat of legal action to get her into your bed?

Is there much damage to the Maxi?

Reply to
Questions

depends on the maxi in question was this the 1700 version?

Reply to
Rob

If it was, I expect the other 50cc will be around somewhere.

Richard

Reply to
RichardK

\ I stand corrected :)

although did once see one of those lumps wedged in place ofa stock 1275 mini lump :)

Reply to
Rob

Is this Manby, Lincolnshire, near Louth?

Reply to
fishman

Reply to
vespakilla

You are Tubbs AICMFP.

Reply to
Halmyre

What the hell are you on about? Think you're clever?

Consider this - my Maxi, your crapmobile side by side, engines roaring. Yours a 2-stroke, mine a four. Smoke pouring from your exhaust pipe, flames shooting from mine.

Pedal to the metal, clutches depressed, engine roaring, heart banging my chest.

You look across at me - sweat pouring off your red, ginger face - you've met your match against the Manby ace.

I glare back, you see the look of victory in my eyes. 3,2,1 clutch up, to hell we ride.

4,5,6,7 miles an hour you see me fade into the sun, as you lean forward knowing you're outdone.

Bang, the gasket blows on your noddy car, I'm just a dot in the distance, shining like a star.

You step onto the road, staring at the ground You've been beaten down you ginger little clown

Now don't you think you'll ever beat the Manby ace I'm like grease lightning and I'll put you in your place.

I WILL TAKE YOU DOWN. D> snipped-for-privacy@moscowmail.com wrote:

Reply to
vespakilla

That's the nice thing about Maxis, though.

Reply to
Questions

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