Letters from Saigon Central.

Been fun round 'ere tonight...

about an hour ago I heard a loud bang in the street, near my driveways. So I go and have a peep out of the window. Nothing too suspicious going on out there, but there is a cack [1] of scallies [2] in a white '89 Civic sitting over the road not far from my driveway.

I decide it's time to go to the chippy.

As I'm walking round the corner to the Merc, my mate phones, I'm describing the scalls to him as I'm walking towards the path. I'm sure the path is ok because the security lighting isn't on. As I close in on the path (advantage here of the front door being on a different street to the driveway, the scalls don't see me coming out of the path), the Civic drives off in a shady manner [3]

Get to the path and the cars are ok, which is good, and will please AshtrayVanPete.

Start the Merc and go to the chippy, which is full. Go to the shop next to it and buy some biftas.

Drive back to my house, but decide to go round the block so I approach my house from the direction of my driveway instead of the other way. Haven't finished my bifta, so decide to go round the block again. As I look at the front of my house there's two scalls diving over the fence into next doors garden from my garden.

This ain't so good.

Reverse the Merc so it's not sitting on the corner of the two roads, dive out and run towards next doors path.

There's no-one there....

Ring Cops. Tell 'em what's happened.

Go back out to make sure the Belgrano 730 is ok, it is.

Notice there's already cops in the street, turn round to walk back to house, there's more cops in the street. Look more closely and every car that drives past is a cop car. Marked Focii, 5 series, X types, X type estates, Vectras, Imprezas, Accords. The whole set are about. Then I notice that most of the other cars are in dark metallic colours, 5 series, X types, XJ8s, T5s, Accords, Imprezas, Mondeos.. and all the occupants have white shirts, bulletproof vests, and epaulettes. The school playgrounds opposite are liberally sprinkled in OSD vans and armed response Volvos.

This is most unusual.

Cop pulls up next to me in a marked Focus "Alright mate, you live here, yeah? Can you tell me more about the Civic?", so I do. He explains that the scrotes from the cheap end of town are all round here tonight, kicking in front doors and demanding car keys.

It's still like Vietnam out there at the moment, but it's nice to know that the cops are on the case tonight..

Reply to
Pete M
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In news: snipped-for-privacy@individual.net, Pete M decided to enlighten our sheltered souls with a rant as follows

and now for the missing footnotes.

[1] Cack, I think that's the right word to describe a collection of the scrotes. [2] known as "Chavscum" in other parts, but these are genuine Scallies. Not the burburry clad pretenders. [3] You know the one, start engine, mimble to top of road looking all innocent, drive off just that bit more speedily than Joe Public.
Reply to
Pete M

a large blunt object near the hand is always most distracting for the lil scrotes :)

Reply to
Rob

Every thought above moving pete :)

Its very nice down here, weather and surroundings

Reply to
Ronny

In news: snipped-for-privacy@individual.net, Ronny decided to enlighten our sheltered souls with a rant as follows

Toyed with the idea, but it's really not bad round 'ere. It's just occasionally the scrotes from the cheap seats decide to come to the better bits and see what they can nick.

Reply to
Pete M

Hello,

It happens everywhere unfortunately. Two people were killed after crashing a stolen Vectra in the Mersey Tunnel a while back. (one of many they pinched according to reports) They had been using the hook and cane method of lifting keys through the letterbox. It seems it is time to keep a big iron bar or baseball bat in the house just incase. That's assuming someone is "allowed" to defend themselves as burglars seem to have rights now. No doubt the ambulance chasing no win no fee finance agreement solicitors will be fighting for their business soon.

Reply to
LJ

it's the same everywhere...

obviously not the this extent but we live in the middle of the sitkcs and theres stil crime/car crime.

Reply to
Mason

In news:41d9fc08$0$55486$ snipped-for-privacy@ptn-nntp-reader02.plus.net, Mason decided to enlighten our sheltered souls with a rant as follows

Indeed, my brother lives in a part of Staffordshire with virtually no car crime, mainly because he lives about 10 minutes drive from the nearest village. Middle of nowhere it is.

However, I have to give total respect to Merseyside Police for tonights efforts. I've never seen so many cop cars round here, and there's a police station at the top of the road. There within minutes, quick, efficient, and generally up for it.

Which makes a complete change from when my Metro got nicked.. although I didn't notice the Metro had gone for a few hours.. I only remembered I had a Metro when I found a bit of the doorlock "oh, that's off a Metro.. ang on, didn't I have a Metro?" Was a moment of Homer J Simpsonesque ineptitude from me. That and not having a clue what the reg number was.

Reply to
Pete M

Buy a nice aluminium baseball bat. Just make sure you put a ball and glove in the same place you keep it.

Reply to
¤¤¤ Abo ¤¤¤

Whereabouts is 'round 'ere' Pete? Had some strange people near me last night, Newton Le Willows ish...

Dan

Reply to
-=Dan=- ©

He's in Scouse land, not a million miles from thee'n'me

Reply to
Sleeker GT Phwoar

Happened to a mate of mine, he lives near Middlesbrough in one of the posher bits up that way. Sadly it's a long walk/short drive for the chavs to get to his area so it's a favourite with chavs looking for something to nick.

He had until recently two very nice BMWs, a 330 CSi and an M3. The M3 for the Nurburgring and the other for his commute (it was an automatic, not much cop on the track). He came home one day to find that since the deadlocks, immobilisers and alarms had defeated the chavscum that they had decided to trash both vehicles. Every window broken, panels kicked in.

He's now got a Mini.

Reply to
Steve Firth

Hmmmmm, I'm kind of on the border I feel. There were some strange people (about two adults and around fifteen teenagers) on my lane last night, looked a bit like a field trip but on a bank holiday at 7:30pm?! One of the adults stopped and started pointing at our house and talking to a couple of the teens...Didn't look like gypo's mind....Perhaps I'm just paranoid...

Reply to
-=Dan=- ©

i hate that, gets me paranoid sometimes, we face a footpath and chav's sometimes hang on the corner. don't get much car crime if any round here though. they tend to use the outskirts of woodham as a dumping ground for there crappy wrecks.

remember there was a dumped metro in asda car park for over a month! gradually had bits nicked off it then one night someone thought turning it on it's roof and setting it on fire would help. and it did as it got taken away after that! melted the car park space it was in though :)

i have a katana sword in my room and the blade is about a metre long, it's properly balanced for martial arts too. shame i don't know how to use it mind, got it off my cousin because i thought it would go with my jap decorated room :) it's sharp as f*ck too so would probably just whack the burglars with the case on to avoid accident direct claims from the burgler :)

Reply to
Vamp

In news: snipped-for-privacy@individual.net,

-=Dan=- © decided to enlighten our sheltered souls with a rant as follows

West Derby, not far from Alder Hey Hospital.

about 18 miles from you

Reply to
Pete M

how far from me then pete, i want it exactly down to the last few feet :)

Reply to
Vamp

In news: snipped-for-privacy@pipex.net, Vamp decided to enlighten our sheltered souls with a rant as follows

Not enough :-)

Reply to
Pete M

LOL good call!

Reply to
Vamp

Ahh, I was there yesterday...On my way to see the mighty blues!

Reply to
-=Dan=- ©

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