Been fun round 'ere tonight...
about an hour ago I heard a loud bang in the street, near my driveways. So I go and have a peep out of the window. Nothing too suspicious going on out there, but there is a cack [1] of scallies [2] in a white '89 Civic sitting over the road not far from my driveway.
I decide it's time to go to the chippy.
As I'm walking round the corner to the Merc, my mate phones, I'm describing the scalls to him as I'm walking towards the path. I'm sure the path is ok because the security lighting isn't on. As I close in on the path (advantage here of the front door being on a different street to the driveway, the scalls don't see me coming out of the path), the Civic drives off in a shady manner [3]
Get to the path and the cars are ok, which is good, and will please AshtrayVanPete.
Start the Merc and go to the chippy, which is full. Go to the shop next to it and buy some biftas.
Drive back to my house, but decide to go round the block so I approach my house from the direction of my driveway instead of the other way. Haven't finished my bifta, so decide to go round the block again. As I look at the front of my house there's two scalls diving over the fence into next doors garden from my garden.
This ain't so good.
Reverse the Merc so it's not sitting on the corner of the two roads, dive out and run towards next doors path.
There's no-one there....
Ring Cops. Tell 'em what's happened.
Go back out to make sure the Belgrano 730 is ok, it is.
Notice there's already cops in the street, turn round to walk back to house, there's more cops in the street. Look more closely and every car that drives past is a cop car. Marked Focii, 5 series, X types, X type estates, Vectras, Imprezas, Accords. The whole set are about. Then I notice that most of the other cars are in dark metallic colours, 5 series, X types, XJ8s, T5s, Accords, Imprezas, Mondeos.. and all the occupants have white shirts, bulletproof vests, and epaulettes. The school playgrounds opposite are liberally sprinkled in OSD vans and armed response Volvos.
This is most unusual.
Cop pulls up next to me in a marked Focus "Alright mate, you live here, yeah? Can you tell me more about the Civic?", so I do. He explains that the scrotes from the cheap end of town are all round here tonight, kicking in front doors and demanding car keys.
It's still like Vietnam out there at the moment, but it's nice to know that the cops are on the case tonight..