Completely O/T

You might be an EXTREME Redneck if:

1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids.

1. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

2. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

1. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

2. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

1. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all, watch this."

2. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

1. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

2. Your junior prom offered day care.

1. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are"Gentlemen, start your engines."

2. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

2. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

1. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

2. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

1. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

2. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

1. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

2. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

1. You think the "Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

2. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

1. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

2. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

1. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

2. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

1. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

2. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

1. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

2. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

1. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

2. You have a rag for a gas cap.

1. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

2. You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.

1. You can spit without opening your mouth.

2. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

1. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

2. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

1. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.

2. Your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V.

1. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

2. A tornado hits your neighbourhood and does a 0,000 worth of improvements.

1. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

2. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

1. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

2. Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth, so you take them out to see what it is.