ebay proof read.

Looks like a very nice car, you might want to check the link to other cars you've sold, it goes to a bunch of pictures of a nice yellow Lark convertible.

Jeff DeWitt

John Poulos wrote:

Maybe it's my fault, but I can't read a full line without having to shift it left and right.

You use "me" in some places where you should use "I"

When comparing it to other GHs you've known, it sounds a bit wishy-washy. How about, "This is near the top of the..."

Just as wishy-washy, but doesn't sound it.

Use either 1958 or '58, not a bare 58

Karl (picky) Haas

"The Golden Hawks were one of the most valuable and collectable models ever build " Should be "built"

"1958 model is the, last" Remove the comma after "the"

Change bubble "build sheet" to "Factory Build Sheet"

Font after the image of the build sheet goes funny. It's forcing me to make the window large in order to get all the text to justify correctly. Also in this section, some type is larger than other type. General clean-up needed here.

Change "At that point, Jim started the restoration of the car, " to " Jim started the restoration of the car as soon as he bought it. He rebuilt the engine...."

Change "Interior very nice but not brand new," to "The interior is very nice but not brand new. The headliner is perfect"

Change "All chrome was replated and stainless polished when the car was painted" to "All the chrome on the car was replated and all the stainless trim was cleaned and polished when the car was painted."

Change: "100 miles on new wide whites, everything works except the clock." to "There are only 100 miles on the brand new wide-white wall tires and everything works on the car except the clock"

Change "I bought and sold more then a few Golden Hawks in my 45 years as a Studebaker.." to "I've bought and sold more then a few Golden Hawks in my 45 years as a Studebaker...."

Change "that is well over the reserve on this car in at least as good condition" to "that is well over the reserve on this car which is in at least as good condition.

Hope that helps a bit Rob

John Poulos wrote:

are trying to help a widow sell a Studebaker

be grammar)*,

I'll stop now... Don't want to be too fussy budgety...

JT

OK, John,

Some of the grammar is "not the way I would have done it" but not incorrect, either, so no comments on those items.

However, there are two legitimate grammatical errors:

In the heading of options, antennaes should not have an apostrophe in it.

"Me and a friend" should be "I and a friend". (The easy grammar test is to drop out the reference to the second person and see how it reads. You would not say, "Me am helping her sell the car.")

Shipping date is stated as being in October 1957, but the build sheet dates are early September. I believe I'd change October to September in your discussion.

That is an awfully nice car. If the paint is high-quality, you sure couldn't "build" it for anything around $20,000. Not that $20K is the reserve, or that it should be, but there have to be few (if any) comparable '58s extant, and built from a solid car too boot. I hope she does well with it. BP

Golden Hawks are one of the most valuable and collectible ...................... jimmijim

Exactly the change I was going to propose. It seems like the use of "me and xxx did ..." is getting to be the most common grammar error today. What do they teach in school anymore? I have a friend with a Master's degree who always makes this error. Maybe country music is to blame . Oh well! I guess that's just my personal "hot button". Paul Johnson

Damn JP these guys are good.With there input, your listing and my pictures she should do great!!

BP

See that's why your doing the listing. The only thing that is worse then my spelling is my grammar

"A friend and I" are helping here.......

Ray

Ok you have got it down now very good John... but how about My friend and I are.....Does that sound better ???

Its one of the nicest cars I have seen here...Great pictures too...

If it was mine I would have willed it to a family member or friend before letting the public get it after all his hard work...Somethings a man has are not meant to be sold in my opinion...Its sad he is gone...

Lansing

Shouldn't it be, "A friend and I"? I remember some rule about that order from English class. Sad, I really hoped I had forgotten all of that by now.

"A friend and I should sound just right.