(OT) answer to Cathy's question about bees

From another NG (;-p):

One of the scientists who recently left Monsanto (the biotech company famous for "killer seeds" and Genetically Modified (GM) plants producing "broad spectrum pest poisons") could be persuaded to tell about some secret research at Monsanto and the philosophy behind it. Story follows:

In an empire, the only issue is control. Past empires did so by taxes, bread & circuses, inquisition, military occupation but that left a possibility of revolution, as long as people had access to healthy food and clean water. At Monsanto, which BTW is the imperial bio-control center under the disguise of a biotech company, the strategy has been to transfer control from the world's farmers and gardeners to the lineage of pro-profit deciders, presently, King George the decider, PBUH (Profit Be Upon Him).

With the rapid disappearance of naturally fertile food crops, the imperial decider decides who eats, who farts and who fasts. The latest development, cereals, fruits and nuts with Inbuilt-Rodent-Kill (IRKT), had a few inadvertent side-effects. One was, dead rodents could be found in the fields, they were eaten by birds of prey, cats and dogs who subsequently died which worried environmentalists and pet-owners. The solution, a modification so the rodent meat became sweet, just before the rodent died. Result, ants too had great appetite in that meat. We were lucky, the ants didn't die from poisoned rat consumption so nobody noticed what had happened. But then, Murphy struck! Apparently there was IRKT in the pollen left too and the bees were vulnerable to it: their immune system weakened and they got disorientated. In that condition, leaving the hive, they won't return: after dying, ants too eat them rapidly so no trace is left behind.

We had to report regularly to the imperial department of the PPPP (Pro Profit Progress Party) and a week after our report on the disappearing bees, a crate of the best champagne was delivered for the staff and the scientists, with a message from the King (PBUH): "Congratulations comrades, for this great achievement that pleases the King and decider. The new mechanical bees with advanced nanotechnology have left the experimental phase and are ready to replace the now defunct bio-bees. Cheers, to total control!"

The new mechanical pollinators can't be bought, they have to be rented from Monsanto. Default, they are equipped with a 3D camera, a wireless Internet connection, GPS to measure distances, a pollination counter for billing, a sensitive microphone and a miniature syringe with a toxin to neutralize Anti-Patriotic Elements (APEs) when spotted. Future models will use so little energy that they can also fly at night, to assist the PPPP. Even bedroom secrets will be transferred to the imperial data base and checked on reverence to the PPPP and King George the decider (PBUH)!

Reply to
tak
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Thanks for giving me a stock purchase tip. I used to own Monsanto years ago but there was no profit so I sold it. Looks like they are on the road to capital improvement.

Reply to
badgolferman

Its your money, sport, Let us know how you make out:

There are three kinds of men. The ones that learn by reading, and the few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence............... Will Rogers

Reply to
tak

Do you really believe that gibberish you posted above or are you just trying to strike up a conversation?

Reply to
badgolferman

Why no, just germane to a thread from awhile ago. And you, who fancy yourself the humorist? Trying to keep a conversation going? I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Reply to
tak

And what were those, dare I ask?

Reply to
badgolferman

By your strategy, maybe you should get rid of AT&T: Interesting item regarding a suspected relationship between cell phones and a current crisis with honeybees. Makes you wonder whether GPS signals will be coming under scrutiny as well.......

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Cell phones wiping out bee populations: Will your mobile be the next SUV? Posted Apr 16th 2007 8:01PM by Sarah Gilbert Filed under: Newspapers, Rants and raves, Economic data

It was only a few weeks ago that I started reading about the plight of commercial bees in Oregon, where I live, and other nearby agricultural states: some mysterious force was causing what's called "Colony Collapse Disorder" for untold (but, by all guesses, large) numbers of bees used for pollinating crops up and down the Pacific Coast. One beekeeper said that the vast majority of his colonies had just disappeared -- the bees would leave, and never return to the hive, presumably dying from hunger. Despite the seeming widespread nature of the problem, agricultural authorities wouldn't confirm its severity, and no one had solid numbers.

Until now, a variety of unrelated and unsatisfactory theories had been surfaced, though none even seemed half-right. Global warming. A bad batch of the high-fructose corn syrup typically used to feed commercial bees. Genetically modified crops. Pesticides. Mites. In the past few days I've seen several bees around my home, buzzing in and then fizzling out, dying slow, awful deaths on the sidewalk or windowsill. My stomach began to sink. Bees are vital to the health of so many of the world's plants. What could be done?

Now a report from Britain, where bee losses are still denied by agricultural authorities, although beekeepers are raising the alarm (U.S. beekeepers claim 60% of West Coast populations and 70% of East Coast bees have vanished): cell phone signals are disrupting bees' natural navigation systems. While alarmist, it makes sense; when cell phones are on, they're constantly crying for attention, pinging whatever tower is nearby every few minutes so that the home tower can keep track of the signal and send in whatever calls or messages come its way. Think of all the millions of pings that bounce back and forth across agricultural areas every week.

I'm not a conspiracy theorist and never worried about fears that cell phones cause brain cancer and cell death (although the reports seem to indicate this could be true). But after reading these reports my first urge is to turn off all the cell phones in the family and only use them for emergencies. If this is true, cell phones could become the SUV of 2008; a public display of a human putting its own comfort above the needs of the environment at large. And I'm sticking to land-based stocks for now!

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The world is changing in some pretty strange ways.

Reply to
tak

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