Man Caught Eating A Bald Eagle
A man is caught by a forest ranger, sitting at a makeshift campfire eating a bald eagle. The man is consequently jailed for the crime. Here's what happens at the trial:
Judge: "Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?"
Man: "Yes, I do. But if you let me argue my case, I'll explain what happened."
Judge: "Proceed."
Man: "I got lost in the woods. I hadn't had anything to eat for two weeks. I was so hungry. Next thing I see is a bald eagle swooping down at the lake for some fish. I knew that if I followed the eagle I could maybe steal the fish. I caught up with the eagle which had landed on a tree stump to eat the fish. I threw a stone toward the eagle hoping he would drop the fish and fly away. Unfortunately, in my weakened condition, my aim was off, and the rock hit the eagle squarely on his poor little head, and killed it. I thought long and hard about what had happened, but figured that since I'd killed it, I might as well eat it, since it would be more disgraceful to let it rot on the ground. And that, you honor, was when the good ranger found me."
Judge: "The court will recess while we consider your testimony."
Fifteen minutes later...
Judge: "Due to the extreme circumstance you were under and because you didn't intend to kill the eagle, the court will dismiss the charges."
The judge then leans over the bench and whispers, "If you don't mind my asking, what does a bald eagle taste like?"
Man: "Well your honor, it is hard to explain. The best I can describe is it's somewhere between a California Condor and a Spotted Owl."