A young lady asked the Scotsman what he wore under his kilt.
"Reach up there and find out."
She did, but quickly pulled her hand back out and said, "Oh, it's gruesome!"
"Aye, it has," replied the Scotsman, "and if you put your hand back up there, it'll grow some more!"
Best joke I've read in a while..............Thanks.
Billy Boy
To reply correct [at] and [dot]
I'm reminded of the story of the old Scotsman who fell asleep under a tree. The breeze blew his kilt up around his waist and a young milkmaid happened to pass the spot where he lay, asleep. As a joke, she took off a blue ribbon she had in her hair, and tied it around his manhood. At length, the Scotsman awoke and noticed the ribbon. Somewhat befuddled, he looked down and said "Wal, I dinna know where ye've been, or what ye've been doin' whilst I was asleep.............but I AM happy ye won the first prize!"
It's become a folk song of sorts. words and music by Mike Cross
Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar on evening fair And one could tell by how we walked that he drunk more than his share He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street
About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see And there behold, for them to see, beneath his Scottish skirt Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth
They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh Around the bonnie star, the Scots kilt did lift and show
Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards a tree Behind a bush, he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes. O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize Ring ding diddle diddle I de oh ring di diddly I oh O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize
taner=LAZO
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