{OT} why did the chicken cross the road? -->joke<--

QUESTION OF THE DAY: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken...AND THAT DEPENDS ON WHAT THE DEFINITION OF 'CHICKEN' IS!

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH #1: Read my lips: NO new chickens crossing roads!

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the otherside of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.... So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

LOU DOBBS: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American!

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

LED ZEPPELIN: Because she was trying to buy a Stairway to Heaven.

BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra?#@&&^(C%..........reboot.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Reply to
badgolferman
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Bush is the only one that is correct! The chicken will get run over and killed if he does not make it across the road, ones he has made the decision to cross the road.

The message is; once you make a decision, stay with it until the task is completed and do not "chicken out," no matter who tells you to stop or to go to the "middle" to satisfy the political whims of others ;)

Reply to
Mike hunt
*snip*

*snort*

Natalie

Reply to
Wickeddoll®

The real message is, if you've spent most of your life snorting coke and drinking booze, you end up imagining that chickens are either your friends or your enemies. And if you're a fat, senile alcoholic, you defend the cokehead with all the credibility of a political party spokesman.

Reply to
larry moe 'n curly

You need to be a bit more respectful to Senator Kennedy. He is a sick person after all.

Reply to
badgolferman

Why should I respect him or his fellow senile alcoholic?

Reply to
larry moe 'n curly

Charles Manson is pretty sick too. Should we respect him?

Reply to
Reasoned Insanity

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