With the return of Travis, it's time for Redneck humor. Here we go:
- The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
- You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
- You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
- You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
- Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people."
- You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
- Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch this."
- You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
- Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
- Your junior prom had a daycare.
- You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."
- You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
- The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
- You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
- One of your kids was born on a pool table.
- You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
- You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
- You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
- Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
- Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.
- You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
- The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
- Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
- Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.
- You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.