Bono, the lead singer of the band U2 , was playing a concert in Glasgow when he asked the audience for total quiet.
Then in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds.
Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies."
From near the front of the crowd a broad Scottish accent pierced the silence.......................
"Well, f**king stop it then!"
Nope...
"Pat Drnec" wrote...
Snopes strikes again! I never thought it was true, but I did think it was damn funny.
Here's one that I just know is true:
A father walks into a book store with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the book store.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands a nickel to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"
"No," the woman replied. "Divorce attorney."
Jeff Rice wrote:
Uh, personal experience? Paul Johnson
Damn, you bagged Pat on a UL, major burn.
Jeff Rice wrote:
Variation I heard a long time ago: A lecturer is giving talk on the population boom and dramatically says "every 30 seconds a woman somewhere in the world is giving birth to another baby!"-pausing for effect. A spectator in the back then jumps and says "well we just have to go out and find that woman and stop her!!".
S2DSteve
Pat Drnec wrote:
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