C'on y'miserable lot...
This is a unique and rare opportunity to get well lubricated in the pub and buy the ultimate in complete rubbish on eBay. Even out-do Nige (which is a hard task, believe me - I've seen some of the things he's bid on!). Sorry Nige ;-)
Winning bidder will get a place for life (or at least a few weeks) on
... have a cup of Sheffield Strength Coffee!
You know it makes (non)sense to bid, so bid now and bid high, you know it's nicer bidding high, erm...