Car written off and insurance co offering half value

That's the Ford Explorer that has covered 330,000 breakdown free miles, that has the same engine as a Mustang, that can cruise all day at the legal limit across Europe and that has enormously comfortable seats from which one can take an imperious view of all the broken down Alfas at the side of the autostrade? The same Ford that my wife used last week to tow an Alfa

The same Ford in fact that just towed a digger from England to Italy over the Alps without an incident and without showing any sign that the digger even represented a noticeable load?

Just remind me again how many miles you get to the inevitable breakdown?

Ahhh, yes, I forget.

The Exploder is quicker and better handling than a Ferrari, more reliable than, well, the most reliable thing ever, and isn't an ugly, outdated heap of Merkin s**te in any way, shape or form.

Oh look, you make up some s**te and pretend that I said it. And you carefully ignore admitting how often your Alfas break down. Here's an easier one, care to compare how much an Alfa would cost in dealer cambelt changes alone over 320,000 km vs the cost for the Ford? I'll give you a clue to start with, the Ford cost is £0.

Care to compare service costs over the same mileage? The Ford costs the same as a Mondeo to service, the Alfa costs more than the car is worth.

That's because it has an ancient Cologne based pushrod lump. Doesn't sound quite as impressive when you say that it has a Crapi based engine, does it?

You also seem to make up a whole load of s**te.

Cambelt and oil change service - I get change from 200 quid. Which is about, well, the same as a Mondeo would cost for the same.

Still a bit mute on that one Steve. Surely you want to prove howmuch better your Alfas are than a mere Ford?

No it doesn't.

It's also not accurate, is it? None of the Capri engines had OHC. And none of them had the 4.0 MPFI variant of the engine.

OTOH one of your cars is simply a re-skin of a design that was thirty years old when the car was made. The major advance over that time was the addition of the most stupid handbrake ever fitted to a car and the change to a bargain bucket interior.

Reliability of course stayed at 1950s levels.

More than the car is worth. And a million miles away from the actual Alfa dealer price of £2500 for the engine out job on the 3.2V6. A price that is so high that most owners scrap the cars at 60000 miles.

I don't own a Mondeo and the Explorer doesn't use rubber bands in the engine.

The problem with the diesel one is they overheat & the head cant be skimmed.

They *all* do it.

Well, I've not had a 'failure to proceed' since I can't remember when. I think it was my 33 16v, so over a decade ago.

It's about as accurate as some of your claims about the handling and performance prowess of your Yank tank.

It's a development of the Cologne lump - and produces f*ck all power for the capacity, so it's no wonder they don't often break.

It was still rated as being right up there with the rest of the 'junior exec' class as a driver's car, even in the early 90s - when it was tested against the E30 3-series and 190E.

Bullshit. Aside from a clutch slave leak, the 75 has never broken down.

You dragged the Mondeo into it!

You may not have rubber bands.... but there are lots of hits on Google for 'timing chain rattle'.

I wouldn't want to own any of those tents. The alfa is stylish (vain) but feeble, and the explorer (into the unknown?) is unrefined and thirsty.

The Pinto was fitted to later Capris. I had one.

I'm guessing that Steve F is referring to the V6 versions, not the smokey pintos (I had 2 2.8is and a 2.0 smoker)

Rough inside is ok as long as it's not too bad. If I'm carting 3 kids around, I'd rather it was already a bit rough inside, rather than have it made rough - there's going to be beach trips, muddy walks and all sorts of car unfriendly stuff going on. If it's already rough, then I don't need to worry about it being rough when I come to get rid.

Thanks for the tip. I hadn't thought of one of them. I'd looked at a Kia Sedona and it's risible enough to be along the right lines. I could go for an older V6 Sharalaxy I suppose, but all the examples I've seen have been even nastier than I'd put up with!

May present resale problems. Volvo XC90 also good

That's another one I wasn't aware of. Off the wall is about right. Looks odd enough, right up my street.

That's what I'd heard. Friend of mine had one with turbo problems a few years back now, set him back a couple of grand getting it all sorted, but it was a pretty good tool otherwise.

Steve Firth threw his toys out of the pram in a rather impressive manner.

My 33 *never* broke down in the time I owned it!

You're obviously lying. I mean, Alfas can't make it to the end of the street without cambelts snapping like knicker elastic at a Take That gigg, if you're to believe Mr F's rant.

My sis-in-law has and Exploder over in the USA. Apart from being powered by the asthmatic 5.0V8, it was pretty smooth to drive and very well equipped. Definitely comfy. I didn't take it off road, but it was a nice place to be for the hundreds of miles we travelled in it. Some of the plastics were a bit low-grade, but then again, it had done 170k and nothing appeared to have dropped off, so I can't really fault it.

I've no idea how it would be on UK roads for the ride quality though, as the roads we were on were very smooth.

How many hours did you own one?

It depends on which one you get. Up to 2002 they had pickup truck cart springs on the rear so they can be upset by jiggly roads. The ride is, however, much better than the Jeep Grand Cherokee which is coils all round. The engine/gearbox combination is also much better on the Ford, the changes are seamless which contributes to the feeling of a smooth ride. Steering is also much better and more precise on the Ford compared to the Jeep.

Later Explorers have coils all round and seem to incorporate "stolen from Land Rover" technology. The ride is better and fit and finish of the cabins is way better, provided that you are in a "Limited" or "Eddy Bauer" model.

I must have blinked ad missed the range of comparable Alfa Romeo 4x4 vehicles.

You don't get it, do you?

Senility, or is it failing eyesight?