tranny 93FordF150XL

Suggestion for your problem will depend greatly on which trans you have. There is a decal on the driver door frame with the trans code if you do not already know which. If you have one of the electronically controlled transmissions, there is a good chance the MLPS sensor is bad. This is/was a frequent problem with them. It does not/usually will not set a fault code. If you have not in the past, your trans is well overdue for a complete fluid and filter change including draining the converter. If you have to have the work done, you are probably looking at $250-300 in my neck of the woods including parts at a decent independant shop. There is no guarantee this will correct the problem if there are other problems with the trans. A good shop will run a diagnostic scan before throwing parts at it and credit the diag charge toward the repair if you tell them to make the repair.

Lugnut

Have you ever had the transmission fluid flushed out?

I have a MPV minivan that racked up more than a decade of service and 100k miles when I finally flushed the transmission. I paid $60 with a coupon for the service call at the garage where I go for my smog inspections. The flush solved many shifting related problems. My guess is that you have never had the transmission flushed, and this is your problem. The banging and clunking around can also be the result of broken mounts, but the description of the symptoms you gave do not point to the mounts. You can replace the mounts yourself if that is the problem. The guy that flushes the trans can look at the mounts for you.