"He also said that the Elantra is a heavy car and that having to rev the
car to 2.5 or 3 grand to pull out is normal."
No, this is not normal, and the Elantra is not a heavy car. Although the
dealer is right that there are no TSBs relating to reprograms for this
issue, there's definitely a problem. I don't have a good sense of exactly
what's happening, but I can guarantee there's either a problem with the car
or your driving. Based on your original post, I'm leaning toward the car.