Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.
Mr. Sense had been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.
Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, then she spilled a bit in her lap and was awarded a huge financial settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
McDonald's used to be the one place in the whole country, where you could count on getting a steaming cup of coffee.
Some of the Commandments are all right, but what about a dispensation for "football widows"? Or curse words when you "really" need to let off some steam?
| A young woman was about to finish her first year of | college. Like so many others her age she considered herself | to be a liberal Democrat and was for redistribution of | wealth, through taxation funded programs. She felt deeply | ashamed that her father was a Republican which she | expressed openly. One day she was challenging her father on | his beliefs and his opposition to higher taxes & the | addition of more government welfare programs. | He stopped her and asked her point blank, how she was doing | in school. She answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 | GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain. That | she studied all the time, never had time to go out and | party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time | for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends | because of spending all her time studying. That she was | taking a more difficult curriculum. | | Her father listened and then asked, "How is your good | friend Mary doing." | | She replied, "Mary is barely getting by". She continued, | "She barely has a 2.0 GPA", adding, "and all she takes are | easy classes and she never studies." "But Mary is so very | popular on campus, college for her is a blast, she goes to | all the parties all the time and very often doesn't even | show up for classes because she is too hung over." | | Her father then asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to | the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your 4.0 | GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0." He | continued, "That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and | certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of | GPA." | | The daughter visibly shocked by her father's suggestion | angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair! I worked really | hard for mine, I did without and Mary has done little or | nothing, she played while I worked real hard!" | | The father slowly smiled, winked and said, "Welcome to the | Republican Party."
The daughter sat silent for a moment and then she ask her Dad what kind of country he wanted to live in. If he wanted to live in a country where the rich and famous looked down their collective noses at the poor and hungry and where power and wealth trumps all other things or in a country of compassion and caring. Where everyone counts. Where everyone not born into the same socio-economic structure is given an equal chance to be 'all that they can be in life."
He sat silent.
Then she went on."Dad, you've always raised me to be a good person.to be sensitive to the feelings and rights of others. I thought those were your values too".
He dropped his head.
"You see Dad", she went on, "Republicans have always confused a 'hand up with a "hand out". That's why I'm a Democrat. In the Sunday School you took me to, we learned that Jesus Christ was kind. Gentle. Remember the 'Widow's Mite'? That's why I'm a Democrat. I don't think Jesus advocated lying. Waging war.remember He said 'Blessed are the Peace Makers'? That's why I'm a Democrat. He would never want to kill people in our prisons or pass laws that help Wall-Mart avoid health care making the tax payers pay.while raking in billions of dollars. Would he advocate cutting social programs? I doubt it. Especially when Republican's are cutting the "hands up" programs.like Head Start, child care programs, school lunch programs, etc. just so the wealthiest 1% of Americans can get a tax break? Does that sound right to you, Dad? It doesn't sound right to me. That's why I'm a Democrat."
Dad sat silent.
"You know Dad, I love you but, while your tax sheltered retirement portfolio is in order, you need to spend more of your time on your compassion for your fellow man. After all, that's what we will all be judged for when we meet our Lord. Not how much wealth we collected on the backs of working folks and the poor and disadvantaged. That's why I'm a Democrat."
"And" she continued."While I wouldn't give my friend 1.0 point of my GPA, I would help her improve hers. Would you do the same for someone who is not as well off as you? I hope so."
"Our party has "a Big Tent" and Dad even you can fit under it. Remember.it's not what you are that is important it's what is in your heart. That's why I'm a Democrat."
Dad, welcome to the Democratic Party!"
As Paul Harvey would say, now you know the rest of the story! |
"Jerry Bransford" wrote in message news:yZezf.14060$V.8416@fed1read04...
They point out that the coffee-is-too-hot complaint rate was about 1 in
24,000,000. If you can satisfy 24 million customers before getting a complaint, you're doing it right.
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