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OT: recall not practical

China Says It's 'Too Late' To Recall Huge Shipment of Turkeys

70 Million Toxic Birds Sent to U.S. Last Week

Officials from a major food exporter in China apologized to American consumers today for shipping over 70 million poisonous turkeys to the U.S. early last week, but indicated that it was "too late" for a recall of their toxic food product.

A spokesman for the Wuhan Food Exportation Company said that while the company "deeply regretted" the shipment, the error was not discovered until Friday morning, making a recall of the birds "virtually impossible."

"It would be problematic to recall such a massive shipment," the spokesman said. "Those turkeys were sent to virtually every store in the U.S."

At a press conference on Saturday to discuss what went wrong with the shipment of turkeys, Wuhan officials revealed that the birds had been fed an experimental combination of birdseed, lead pellets, and date-rape drugs.

"Going forward, we're going to skip the lead pellets," said Qiu Liangyong, the company's public relations director.

In an attempt to regain the confidence of the American consumer, Qiu said that in the future all turkeys shipped to the U.S. would include a warning label, but under tough questioning from reporters he conceded that the label would be printed in Chinese.

At the conclusion of the press conference, Qiu indicated that he was "confident" that the company could regain U.S. consumers' trust in time for the Christmas season: "We have 80 million delicious Christmas hams just waiting to be shipped."

Reporter: Andy Borowitz

Reply to
tak
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I suspect that this is not far from reality, truth be told.

Reply to
sharx35

snip

**Could we go even further forward and skip the date-rape drugs also?
**This company's directors need to do what that other Chinese toy company CEO did and commit suicide. Lead and date-rape drugs in food? Sweet feathery jesus. Any American company that now imports anything from this food company willingly should be skewered. Maybe that's what it's going to take to make China send us safer products, threaten the moula stream.
**Do the Chinese ship raviolis too? Because that's what we have for Christmas dinner.

kaboomie

Reply to
kaboom

"kaboom" <

LOL

Don't hold back, Boomie...

ROFL you're still insane.

Natalie

Reply to
Wickeddoll

**Wait! Am I insane because you think we eat ravs for Christmas or insane because I'm not aware that the Chinese have infiltrated the Mama Rosa's Ravioli factory?

Mmmmmmm ravs :9

Of course, we have a giant anti-pasto salad first with tuna and Italian cold cuts on it. :::drool::: Then we have the raviolis! :)

kaboomie

Reply to
kaboom

The Chinese have their own version of ravioli.

Think about it, it's obvious: Ravioli and Potstickers are 'kissing cousins', same basic filling containing ground meat (cheese ravioli excluded), same basic construction, same basic cooking method. The only difference is the shape (pillow vs. taco), and what kind of sauce you cover them with before serving.

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Reply to
Bruce L. Bergman

**That's not reassuring, Bruce! But, yes, I do like potstickers :) just not with lead and date-rape drugs in them.

kaboomie

Reply to
kaboom

Hell, I doin't want that stuff in my food either.

The whole "Poisoned Pet Food" scandal started when the distributor added melamine plastic resin to wheat gluten to score higher on a very crude quality test they use at the receiving dock. And they didn't do any more detailed tests so make sure the food wasn't unadulterated, figuring it being marked "Not For Human Consumption" was enough. Well, turnsout humans didn't but it was poisonous for the actual consumers anyway...

And the whole "Diethylene Glycol used as a food sweetener" thing is another example of lax regulation - a sweetenter that's a poison if the dose is only slightly higher...

Lead paint is cheaper and more widely available over there than lead-free paint. And used even when they have specific orders not to

- the only way for Mattel or other buyers to really stop it is to provide all materials, and have their own full-time QA inspector in each plant to make sure. And there go the savings of having things made in China...

In China nobody has been caught and punished in the past for gross lapses like this, and until they start routinely imprisoning and/or hanging people for adulterated products and gross public health lapses that put the entire world at risk, it will continue.

And there's another one that's hitting the news as we speak - in Korea they had a claim of a mine worker "killed when his cellphone lithium polymer battery exploded in his pocket". And as every hour passes it looks more like someone ran him over with heavy equipment, and they lit his cellphone on fire in his pocket as a crude cover-up attempt.

As if a competent cop wouldn't see through that in ten seconds.

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Reply to
Bruce L. Bergman

re: lead, date-rape drugs, and bad Chinese government overview:

**The cop may be competent but in that 10 seconds, when the mine owner offers him a wad of cash, he might become amazing unskilled at police work. I wouldn't be surprised if corruption is a major reason why the poisons make it to the US. Well, that, and what seems to be China's major indifference to the life of their own people.

kaboomie

Reply to
kaboom

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