SOARING OIL, GAS PRICES LEAD TO PIRANHA ATTACK

< =========================

========================= < WASHINGTON, D.C. (Rueters)

-- A nasty piranha attack occurred in the executive swimming pool in the Senate Office Building late this afternoon. apparently due to the skyrocketing price of oil, gasoline diesel oil.. The limp but live bodies of at least three nude Senators and/or their mistresses were found floating in the burgundy-colored water. A few people puked as they were pulled out.[p "It was horrible, just horrible," said a White House spokesman. "One of the Senators had no ears, one had no nose nor any toesm, and one had lost his Love Canal." Investigators are stilll trying to apprehend the person responsible. for dumping about a dozen of the cute- but-always-hungry fish in the pool. However, they have a good idea of the culprit's identity and have left on a bus bound for Shenandoah, Pa. The only real clue is a sign painted on the wall of the pool complaining that the Senate "hasn't lifted a finger to stop the soaring gasoline, disel and oil prices -- and has not even issued a warning to invade OPEC." It was accompanied by a rather approprioate but somewhat nasty drawing:that the little kiddies definitely won't see on Sesame Street, <

< < MORE MORE MORE < < ====================== < New York Times Daily News Post Newsday Newsweek USA Today Wall Street Journal Time The Nation President George Bush War in Iraq talk.origins David Iain Greig ABC CBS NBC MSNBC Larry King CNN Keith Olbermann Fox News Gallop Poll Ruppert Murdoch Bill O'Reilly PBS BBC Lou Dobbs Chris Matthews Brian Williams Charles Gibson White House Billy Meier Bill Moyers Stephen Colbert Jon Stewart Braindead Evolutionists Stephen Hawking Evolution Charles Darwin Rush Limbaugh Intelligent Design Bill Moyers UFO Penn State London News of the World New England Journal of Medicine Bill Gates Smithsonian Yomiuri Shimbun Asahi Osama bin Laden Shimbun Bild Germany The Sun London The View 60 Minutes Oprah Winfrey Rosie O'Donnell Meet the Press Nightline Anderson Cooper Christianity Hinduism Islam Judaism Buddhism Sikhism American Association for the Dis Advancement of Science L'Osservatore Romano Vatican Pope John XXIII Republican Democrat American Association of Physical Anthropology Hillary Who? Barack Obama Reading Eagle Harrisburg Patriot-News Allentown Call Hazleton Standard-Speaker Disney History Channel Philadelphia Inquirer Harry Potter Roseanna Roseannadanna