Hummer Song

Bad Country Lyrics

Volume 2

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Was It Something I Stepped In?

Chorus

Today, I stepped in something that reminded me of you.

Was it my broken beating heart or just some awful smelling goo

It could have been feces, or guano stuck in my boots

Whatever it was dear, I scraped with a root

I washed it off with water, and dried it with your bothers wielding cap

It this was love darling, it sure is a load of crap

Soon I know I'll be over it, but

But you remind me of a pile of spit.

3 verses

The Hummer Song

1st verse

When I was in the Army

They gave me quite a treat

Introduced me to my new best friend

A truck called the 4 wheeled Hum-Vee

It was great for climbing hills and rocks and stuff in any terrain

I loved that big mean green fightin machine

We went from Hood to old Kileen

In a house of girls, one ask me what I liked best

This is what I told her is gooder than all the rest.

Chorus

I like

Hummers in the Morning

Hummers in the evening

Hummers at night

With a new Hummer I put up one hell of a fight

Hummers make me happy

Hummers make me smile

With a Hummer I can put up with anything for a while

3 more verses

Damned Old Boo-Ray

Passing Time in Lafayette

I stopped to bum a cigarette

From a man that told me about a game

That can make a gambling man go insane

I followed him to a local Inn

And with 6 Cajuns and a redneck we begin

I'll show you just once

Don't play trickless or on a hunch

Have a drink and let's play Boo-Ray

Chorus

Match the Pot

Pass the deal

You'll get hot

Is this hand for real

Life is like playing cards

Sometimes easy

Sometimes hard

Should I stay

Or should I fold

All I got is a damn old Boo-Ray

3 more verses

Boy's Town Clown

Years ago a bunch of us went to Boy's Town across from Brownsville. A friend of mine, James Baker had never tasted the pleasures of Tequila or of Boys Town. He had a few too many and had a great time until he confused a young boy dancer with a young lady. The comment was made James that's a h*mo you h*mo and a large group of Mexican hombres started eyeing us for a fight .

Chorus

I'm a clown in Boys Town tonight.

Drink quick, have fun but don't fight

The Federales will run you in

You'll need 10 grand from your kin

Oh my,

That girl up on the table

Put my face below her navel

They wipe the table and steal your drink

But it's nicer than a Mexican Klink

Drink quick, have fun but don't fight

I'm a clown in boy's town tonight

3 verses

Tumble Inn , Stumble Out Years ago there was a cantina on the outskirts of Laredo that was built on the side of a gorge. I went there 30 years ago with a couple of Mexican truck drivers. There was a back door with a 2 foot ledge and then a

20 foot drop to the bottom of a deep revine. These are lyrics in search of a melody. If you are interested I'll send you the rest.

Chorus I'm stumblin out the Tumble Inn

in Laredo,

Watch that first step it's quite a drop

Only 18 feet to the bottom of the arroyo

I'm glad I had my hat to fall the stop

They got warm hands, cold cervesa and tender barbaquoa

Just like old Mexico

If you're leaving by the back door

You better be ready to go

3 verses

Texas Hold-em

One eyed Jacks

And Foul Mouthed Jills

Turning those Cards

Give Me Quite a Thrill

Staying til the River

Is Ruining My Liver

Watching that Guy

Squirm and Sweat

Makes Me Want to

Double My Bet

Chorus

I love Texas Hold -em

It's time to double up

Or Fold-em

Pots in Stud are Duds

Draw drew too much Blood

I play Omaha with my Paw

I Loose at Razz to My Ma

But I Love Texas Hold-em

2 more verses

These lyrics were written for fun. I find it just as humbling as golf. I can't carry a tune or play a guitar and now you know I can't write very well either. There are no melodies to go with these lyrics, but I reserve all rights in case somebody needs a bad song.