IDBITGWIAH!

Here are the humbling specifications of what real Americans drive and will continue to drive despite Socialist protestations. These vehicles will continue to be the backbone of the American ego--I mean economy.

Ford F-250 Super Duty 4x4 Triton 6.8L V-10 (yeah, 10 cylinders you hippie freak!)

355 hp @4,750 rpm, 455 lb.-ft. torque @3,250 rpm 12 MPG hwy with a strong tailwind

I'm telling you, this truck has seen me through thick and thin over my

3-year lease, and sometimes I even haul stuff in it. I'm an accounting manager by profession (trophy home, trophy wife, plastic life) but, again, I need to haul stuff...sometimes. And how could I carry my kids without the extended cab?

Man, it makes a good boulevard cruiser; me riding tall and proud in American iron above all the low-life econoboxes; wife looking hotter than hell and driving the locals nuts with a stolen glimpse of cleavage in that high cab. BUT, I am planning to get a boat one of these months and I will match its size to the truck. In the end it will appear to be a necessary combo purchase. In this life - and we only get one, so live the mother! - the end always justifies the means.

Of course, NONE of the above is possible with a compact truck or fewer than 5 liters of engine displacement. I think it was Andre Agassi who said "image is everything." Truer words have never been spoken. I drove the F-250 to a tennis match once. But as I said, I plan to buy a boat and tow it 2 or 3 times a year. Utility aplenty. All bases covered. American dream fulfilled. Nextel - DONE!

Repeat after me, fellow flag-wavers and yellow magnetic ribbon slapper-on-ers.

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Steve