'96 Buick LeSabre Fluid seepage (not water) up through floorboard

Greens, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but from my years of medical experience, I strongly suspect that the problem is your husband's closet incontinence. Incontinence is a very embarrassing matter than many people are reluctant to disclose to even their closest friends or spouses. This would certainly explain your husband's insistance that there is nothing mechanically wrong with the car. He knows what the problem is, but doesn't want to tell you. Think about it

- does he sometimes sit on that side of the car? It is very easy for a man to position himself so that his penis doesn't "leak" onto the car seat, but rather onto the floor. I suspect that you will find the samepungent odor on his clothes.

Thanks for your reply, but uh-uh. Read your reply to hubby and he got a hoot out of it. On the off-chance that you were being serious, he hasn't been in the car since the last time I dabbed it up, and it's still a problem. And no, it's not the neighborhood cats...I keep my windows up. Any other suggestions?

Dr. V>> I've noticed an odd smell in my car for a couple of months. Sometimes it

Greens, upon further diagnosis, the prognosis is worse than I could have imagined. Greens, if you aren't already seated, please sit down and try to remain calm. It might be adviseable to have hubby come in and sit with you, before you read any further.

Greens, it would appear that you yourself are suffering from lymphocytic colitis. That's the good news Greens! Now the bad news - you would appear to be in the mid to later stages of a form of dymentia, possibly alzheimers disease, which is why you have no recollection of your involuntary bowel movements and the resultant pungent odor in your vehicle. The "light brown liquid" to which you refer, is of course the diarrhea, which is common to sufferers of colitis.

Greens, on the off-chance that both you and your husband are suffering from this horrible affliction of lymphocytic colitis, I would suggest that you consider appointing me the administrator of your estate and giving me Power of Attorney over your financial affairs. You and your spouse may also wish to bequeath your estate to my charitable foundation

- That's the Doctor Kramer Von Nostrand Benevolent Fund, 666 Bennis Drive, New York, N.Y. 16346 You may rest assured that I will rid your car of any fecal matter and/or malevolent odor, upon receipt of the ownership.