I'm playing the part of Elmo today... Read the fine manual that came with
your car. It has excellent directions that are easy to perform. And the
good news is if you can read this response, you can also read your friggin
Who needs a manual? It's easy to wing it. This is what I do, and I'm not
exaggerating in the least.
Every time I change the oil, I go out and hunt down a bear. I use a
carbine chambered for 7.62x39 Soviet, which has similar ballistics to
.30-30 and is easier to find in Darfur, where I live (and as you know,
there is lots of war-type stuff happening in Darfur).
I drag the bear home and skin and gut it. Then I boil the carcass down
to make the base oil. The kids get the head to use as a soccer ball
until the maggots get too bad.
Now, oil needs some additives. It needs zinc, so I plop in a dollop of
diaper cream, which contains zinc. It needs detergent, so in goes a
squirt of Ivory dishwashing liquid. I've heard it needs some other stuff
too, but I'm sure this will be fine.
Using my wife's Kitchenaid mixer, I whiz the stuff up so it's smooth and
silky. I then add it to the crankcase until the engine is full to the
Been driving like this for almost one million miles and the car runs
like the day it was built.
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