Manufacturers Recall (affecting all of us)

*RECALL NOTICE:* The Maker of all human beings *(GOD)* is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.

This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed 'Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality,' or more commonly known as S..I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include:

  1. Loss of direction
  2. Foul vocal emissions
  3. Amnesia of origin
  4. Lack of peace and joy
  5. Selfish or violent behavior
  6. Confusion in the mental component
  7. Fearfulness
  8. Idolatry
  9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.

The Repair Technician, *Jesus,* has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.

The number to call for repair in all areas is: *P-R-A-Y-E-R.* Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician,

*Jesus,* into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, *Jesus* will replace it with:

*1. Love 2. Joy 3. Peace 4. Patience 5. Kindness 6. Goodness 7. Faithfulness 8. Gentleness 9. Self control*

*Please:*_ see the operating manual, the *B.I.B.L.E*. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.

Thank you for your attention!

*GOD*

P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by *'Knee- mail'.*

-- F.R.O.G. fully rely on GOD!

Reply to
IlBeBauck
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Amen!!!!

Steve in AZ

Reply to
Juts Me

Thank you for that one amen !!!

Reply to
IlBeBauck

Prosetyltizing asshole

Reply to
Ken

If you want to avoid weeping and nashing of teeth right after this short earthly life because you were hoping there was no such thing as a Creator for the Cosmos...then please accept my prosetyltizing attempts so God can save your Soul.

Also, the use of foul language is completely unnecessary ... both in this NG and in life in general. Regards.

Reply to
IlBeBauck

Foul langauge is just letters and words. It's your interpretation that makes it unacceptable to you. And if asshole causes you problems, try stuffing it.

Reply to
dgk

Nothing like watching two juveniles wrestle in the mud...

Reply to
Voyager

Some Of the good representatives Of the manufacturer that have by their own admission went right square to be with Jesus have already polluted the golden boulevards of heaven and left a brown stain of stupidity, hypocrisy , and politicized religionist nonsense on the pearly gates as their fat bodies grazed the sides when entering.

Reply to
Elmo Finsterwald

that was great. AMEN!

JC!

Reply to
news

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