Poor Real Jeep Sales

Poor Real Jeep Sales

July 4, 2008 by Gnut Krakker

The Willys-Overland Motor Company announced today that sales of their formerly popular Jeep vehicle has hit its lowest ebb since the Spanish-American War.

"There just doesn't seem to be a market for a low-end, poorly-constructed and unsafe some-terrain vehicle anymore," said spokesperson Willy Cervyve. "People want luxury in their poorly-constructed and unsafe some-terrain vehicles, and with the help of the US Government, Hummer has almost entirely captured that market niche."

When asked about the about the steadily increasing sales of similar Japanese, Asian and German vehicles, Cervyve stated, "Well, you are talking about something entirely different there. Those vehicles are well-constructed, reliable and perform as advertised. Plus, they actually have Warrantees that are honored. There really is very little similarity to our product. You're comparing wieners to squash."

Is the end in sight for Real Jeeps? Cervyve thinks not. "As long as there are loyal, ill-informed half-baked dimwits walking around, there will indeed be a market for Real Jeeps. And America has never had a shortage of that type of die-easy customer."

Majority stockholder Paris Hilton could not be reached for comment.

Gnut Krakker is a regular columnist for Consumer Sports, and can be reached at: snipped-for-privacy@nospam.snotmail.com.