After a terrible car accident, a man awoke to find himself in a hospital, surrounded by a group of doctors who informed him that his penis has been amputated and that they'd have to replace it with a prosthetic. They assured him that all of his functions would be normal and that he wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Finally, one doctor concluded, "We can give you a small-sized penis for $2,000, a medium-sized one for $5,000, or an extra-large one for $10,000. I realize that's a lot of money, so take your time and talk it over with your wife."
When the doctor came back into the room he found the man staring sadly at the floor. "We've decided," the man told him as he choked back tears. "My wife says she'd rather have a new kitchen."