What Every Woman Wants! (No, Seriously!)

It's due to the Dexamethasone of course. ('Dexy' to the trade.) Dexy is one of those horrifically potent steroids that flat EATS cancerous tumors. Along with everything else, alas. Which is why I've managed to shed a few pounds, going from a chubbily pleasant 254 to a cadaverous 171.

I've no way of knowing how much of that 83 pounds consisted of tumorous tissue. And there at the start, following LAST New Years, I promised myself it was time to shed a few pounds and did, which got me into the 230-ish range, at which point I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma and began the more serious business of chemotherapy, which whisked away the pounds, along with patches of hair (it's coming in CURLY, of all things!) and tumorous tissue.

But I now possess what every woman wants: To hear a physician say: 'It's time for you to put ON a few pounds.' And I thought of all the women I've known without being able to recall a single one of them who was not wishing just the opposite: to LOSE a few pounds, often with EXACTLY the same life and death fervor I've felt with regard to the cancerous tissue which has done such a swell job of digesting my spine that it actually BROKE... from nothing more than a sneeze or some other incidental stress. A compression fracture, so damaging that it would be unwise for me to attempt to lift the amount of weight I've now lost.

Put that all together -- the fervent ladies wish to lose as I have lost, then to fracture what I have broken, and you must admit there IS a certain element of humor... that struck me as the physician delivered the good news, and I began to laugh. And still haven't stopped. Not completely. But it certainly scared the hell out of the doctor.

"Time for you to put ON a few pounds, Chief."

"Aye-aye, sir!"

And I began to laugh. Because it struck me that, whatever else this cancer has done, it has given me what every woman longs for, as if it were a topic of polite conversation, suitable for those awkward moments when strangers are forced to spend a whisp of time together and a polite smile simply isn't enough, as in the elevator between 1 and 12, or the check-out line at the local supermarket. First, the friendly smile, then the casual: "I've got what you want," perhaps with another smile, depending on the lady's physique. Then back to listening to the elevator music or casually examining the contents of her shopping cart, my eye peeled for ice cream and Danish.

It gives you a nice boost, knowing you have what they want. Makes you want to flex your stick-like arms or show your turkey's neck to best advantage. Yup. Things are definitely looking up. Which is why I'm still laughing now & then.

-Bob Hoover

Reply to
Bob Hoover
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Bob, I admire your ability to laugh after all you've been thru. You're a good man, keep fighting and we'll keep you in our thoughts.

Les

Reply to
Project Magnet #1

Bob

1) Your posts continue to be fascinating.

2) I was glad one of our colleagues re-posted your Christmas Story. That is one of the VW classics.

3) Bad news, Bob, is that I am continuing to change the oil each week in my 1972 blue Beetle.... and polluting the planet.

Ross Virgin Toronto, Canada Eskimoe land, where my Beetle goes perfectly in the snow. .. ..

Reply to
rvirgin22

Bob

1) Your posts continue to be fascinating.

2) I was glad one of our colleagues re-posted your Christmas Story. That is one of the VW classics.

3) Bad news, Bob, is that I am continuing to change the oil each week in my 1972 blue Beetle.... and polluting the planet.

Ross Virgin Toronto, Canada Eskimoe land, where my Beetle goes perfectly in the snow. .. ..

I'm curious as to why you change the oil every week.

Reply to
Scott H

Reply to
Rev Turd Fredericks

.. Scott H.

1) I change the oil every week, since clean engine oil is the single most significant factor, and probably the easiest for a long engine life (mine 36 years and 120,000 miles).

2) It costs me $ 4.00 and takes only 3 minutes (30 seconds to pull the plug, then 2 and 1/2 minutes later, to pour in

2 quarts). Impossible to beat. Since I bought the 1972 brand new from a VW dealer and it is still great 36 years later, I have followed the same practice now for all 7 Beetles I have, whenever I decide to put one on the road.

Ross Virgin, Toronto, Canada

Rev. Turd Fredericks

3) No, neither Toronto, nor the snow, nor the salt will "slowly allow 3 good Beetles to be eaten by rust".

4) Very unfortunate this group cannot accept photos. However, my 1972 blue Beetle has "not one speck of rust"

--- anywhere, although I bought it brand new, 36 years ago, and it is driven all winter in Toronto's snow, slush, salt, slime, through 36 winters.

5) I now have a total of 7 Beetles, none with rust, and all of which get some driving in Toronto's snow, slush, salt, and slime.

6) The only cause of a Beetle slowly being eaten by rust is if the owner fails to oil-spray the undercarriage, door panels, suspension, bumpers, trim, headlight pots...... and everywhere a sprayer can blast it in. A $ 20 deck sprayer, with 2 quarts of oil for $ 4, sprays all 7 Beetles. This is done

3 times a year...... and No rust on any of them. Beetles range from 1969 to 1974

7) Rev Fredericks, very sad to lose 3 Beetles. All 3 would look like brand new today... with $ 4 of oil sprayed regularly.

Ross Virgin proudly driving rust-free, 36-year-old Beetles in Toronto's snow, slush, salt and slime .. .. ..

Reply to
rvirgin22

By the time I got them they were at least 10-12 years old. After my first one rusted, I had the second oil sprayed, but I'm afraid it was just too late, the process had already begun. The 3rd was my wife's (then girlfriend), same story, had it sprayed, but it didn't do any good.

Reply to
Rev Turd Fredericks

So, on average, you've changed the oil in your '72 every 64.1 miles, correct?

Reply to
Scott H

Install oil filter, and replace drain plug with a ball valve for quick oil changes :)

Reply to
Jan

Have you considered a bolt on oil filter kit?

Reply to
Kafertoys

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