Jim, that's pretty harsh. I think he has a complaint about the service that is valid. If he asked them to do something, and they did not, he has a reason to question if they did all of it the way he asked. Since the dealer refunded the money for the service, I would just take it back and have them change the oil again.
The problem with them refunding the money is that you still don't know if they put the right oil in. I would have let them keep the money and just asked that the work be performed again for the piece of mind. After all, he paid the dealer to do the work, and it should have been right. As for the cas wash, it really sould have been dried off.
My .02, which don't mean crap.