We're doomed!

Feb 14, 2007 23 Replies

Well, it seems there's a new environmental problem hitting the coasts of Dorset, according to my local Dorset County Council's free newspaper. A clip in Private Eye bought it to my attention, and I've just checked the paper itself as I thought they had to be making it up. They're not, it's genuinely in the paper.



The article on page 14 of the Winter 2007 issue of "Your Dorset" states that the innocent passtime of throwing pebbles into the sea contributes to coastal erosion and recommends that when throwing pebbles into the sea, you instead throw them towards the land. To encourage responsible pebble-throwing they are going to create flagged-off areas and make T-shirts for registered throwers....



No mention was made of the rise in sea levels caused by pesky unregistered bumpkins filling our seas with stones, I will write to my MP to make sure this risk is properly assessed.



Now I need to apply for my pebble-throwing license, hopefully they have a good stock of bio-degradeable pebbles that I can use.



My council tax bill is looking more like a bargain every day!


Ian Rawlings uttered summat worrerz funny about:

The Dorset tossers I think they are called, tossing on a beach since they were big enough to walk. We went to Dorset last summer and I'm afraid this is true, for I lay down on the beach towel to read the Road Traffic act, when I got up HALF the beach had disappeared, It's no lie... tossers the lot of them....

;-)

Lee D

Yes very amusing Lee, a policeman reading the Road Traffic Act indeed! Pull the other one, but don't throw it towards the sea or you'll be forced to hand yourself in..

As for our organised safe pebble-throwing events, no surprise to find that they will be organised in conjunction with the Countryside Agency, now known as "Natural England" apparently. Given the number of people with the same face in this area, I'd have thought "unnatural" might be more appropriate..

Dont surprise me 1 bit. In the process of organising an off road motorcycle event in the Yorks Dales. The YDNP officer is more bothered about SUB-TERRAINIAN erosion. Caused by RABBITS !!!!!!!!!!! Surely the land is more theirs than ours !!! They LIVE there!

Ah, but rabbits are tax-exempt, like the queen, although they do taste better. Since they don't pay tax, they don't get to vote, hence their lack of representation in our government.

you tasted the queen??? eeeeeewwwwww

Every time I lick a stamp. Sort of tastes a bit gluey.

It's like Frankie Boyle said on Mock The Week, she's so old, her pussy is haunted.

Well as long as it's dry, it doesn't flick so well when it's still wet. (I grew up surrounded by scottish farmland so know about the flickability of sheep s*it).

Strangely, sheep s*it and bunny s*it are hard to tell apart.

Horse s*it might be better, that floats if it's dry enough, but it's also so dry by that time that it can catch the wind and blow back, particularly bad if it powders as breathing it in leaves a funny taste in your mouth.

Cow s*it can frisbee if it's dry enough, it's not much use at all when wet.

Horses are so dumb they s*it while running, why did that not evolve out? Have they no shame?

Only until Smiling Tony works out a way to tax them ;-)

Richard

Perhaps a 'wildlife tax' which is calculated by the size of your garden or the amount or grass you have? I have a park-y type area infront of my house - Will my council tax go up to support this? ;)

That sounds dangerously plausible.....

Unlikely, but it probably won't be long before the idea of charging you to park outside your house spreads everywhere. It costs £30 to get a permit to have a skip outside your house in Stoke now.

Richard

Yes I know :(. Im doing building work in the garden at the moment and would have had a skip this week until i found it costs me £30 extra to get it put on a public road (the garages round the back of my house are still a public road). It makes more sense for me to shuffle the soil round the garden and then get a skip put inside the garden wall once ive worked through the pile of bricks that is currently in the way...

If anybody in the local area would like 3-5 square metres of soil then let me know! ;) I will help load it into your trailer...

Sounds like an exerpt ftom the "Big Labowski" [US movie].

Ian:

Hope for America's sake this doesn't find its way over to this side of the pond. We have enough tree huggers already. Former VP Al Gore anyone?

It seems we're moving into the realm of pebble-hugging in Dorset!

You could put it in the loft........... oh, no, that's tunnels...

If it's square metres, couldn't you just roll it up?

Richard

Join the Discussion

Have something to add? Share your thoughts — no account required.

Didn't find your answer?

Ask the community — no account required