Bad Gas

Needs some help. My farts now smell like a maggot infesteded purtrifying carcass. My dog and cat go running if they are sitting beside me when I cut the cheese. If the wife gets a sniff I get a backhand and she ends up sleeping on the couch leaving me to breath and suffer in my own stench. A book of matches will no longer douse the smell, I bet if I put a match to my rectum and ripped one the whole house would go up in flames. Has anyone ever tried a high colonic bowel cleansing? Cheers!

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rod
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