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Re: Motoring Humour

A wee bit OT maybe, but it's time for a smile........

> > Pinched off the Radio 2 breakfast show this morning:- > > Then pinched of the humour NewsGrouup !! > > Some banks have introduced drive-through cash machines. > > > Male Instructions > ----------------- > > 1) Drive up to cash machine > 2) Insert card > 3) Key in PIN number > 4) Retrieve money > 5) Retrieve card > 6) Drive off > > > Female Instructions > ------------------- > > 1) Drive up to cash machine > 2) Reverse five feet to bring machine next to window > 3) Apply handbrake > 3) Empty contents of handbag onto passenger seat > 4) Pick up card from passenger seat > 5) Open driver's door to enable machine to be reached > 6) Insert card > 7) Retrieve card > 8) Insert card right way up > 9) Retrieve card > 10) Note PIN number scribbled on card > 11) Insert card > 12) Key in PIN number > 13) Retrieve money > 14) Place money in wallet and pour passenger seat contents into handbag > 15) Apply makeup using rear view mirror > 16) Drive off > 17) Reverse back to cash machine > 18) Retrieve card > 19) Drive off > 20) Release handbrake > > > No. Can't be right- No.17- Reverse?
Reply to
Madmucks
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Would have to agree with you there mate, it probably should have been drive back round again.

Reply to
. BaldyBastard .

Probably a similar procedure with a car wash - although I can't ever remember seeing a female use one ;-)

Reply to
Terry Dutson

LOL!!!!!!!!! I'm pinching it :)

Reply to
dojj

Bugger. I was about to post that same query and you've beaten me to it. If 17 were to stay in there then 18 must surely be...

18) Get out of car and ask to speak to someone about irreparable damage to cash machine now under the back wheels of car.

Dave Baker - Puma Race Engines

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"How's life Norm?" "Not for the squeamish, Coach" (Cheers, 1982)

Reply to
Dave Baker

Hmmmm, car wash... would that be the mechanical piece of crap that does one or more of the following:

1) Washes the front wings and roof - missing everything else. 2) Fold/breaks wing mirrors no matter how carefully the car is placed (still poking them about even if they're folded in) 3) Misses the entire car. 4) Causing extreme nausea to the passengers due to the confusion of it moving and the car being stationary. 5) Sucking money from a wallet faster than the accidental pointing of a Dyson at aforementioned item.

It's not only females who avoid automatic car washes. Oops, sorry I hadn't realised I was standing on it. :-0

Tom. (Who jet-washes and then finishes by hand)

Reply to
Tom Saul

We don't care about your private life. We want to know how you wash your car! >:->

Pete.

Reply to
Pete Smith

On the subject of sexist driving humour, I came across this on the net - it is not just women that don't drive perfectly...

Driving to the office this morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily, but she scared me so much I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed and burned "Big John and the Twins," ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Damn women drivers!!

Reply to
DaveW

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to
dojj

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