So, doing the engine swap on my Capri. The engine I bought off Ebay as a bog standard Pinto turns out to be a 205 block injection once I take the inlet manifold off which, even nicer, has a 38DGV carb on. I've got all the gaskets/belts etc and everything I think I need as this is "Christine" I'm talking about so I reckon I've got all bases covered. There's nothing that I've not got covered. Even if the block is duff, I've a spare recon sat in the shed. All good stuff.
So, round at mates house to do it now. Takes the bonnet off and lays it on the grass well out of the way. Gets on with the job and have just got the engine out when my mates missus decides she wants to go to the shop to get us some lunch. My cars taking up much of the drive so it's tight to get past so my mate jumps in and starts shunting it to get round.
THEN THE CHRISTINE FACTOR KICKS IN. Mate pulls forward to get lined up better and there's this crumpling sound as he drives over the bonnet. The nice straight bonnet just painted 9 months ago..........
I yell stop. He stops. I yell "You've just driven over my bonnet". He looks like a startled rabbit. "Don't be stupid". "Yup, you have". "SHIT".
And then I just begin laughing because there's nothing else I can do whilst my mate looks at me in disbelief. Christine strikes again in yet another twisted and sick way finding something nobody could concievably predict would go wrong. In true spirit, the stranger who has had his spanners on her is the recipient of her wrath. My mate is absolutely beside himself and I try to explain to my mate this is what she does and I've stopped worrying about it ages ago.
It gets worse. We've decided to crack on and Christine isn't going to give up without a fight. Had to draw the friggin engine onto the gearbox. A bit worried because it was originally a 1600 engine and box. The 2L clutch is 25mm wider and the pressure plate is deeper. To add to that, there's three types of release bearing and I'm trying to use the
1600 one. I hope it's not the clutch. Get it on and mate makes comment about having to use crowbar to lever arm forward to get cable on.[1]Exhaust manifold studs come out with the nuts so we prat about with those before admitting defeat and extracting the studs from the old engine.
Goes to turn the engine over and the starter jams. Fortunately, jump starting it proves it's nothing more than a lazy battery.
It turns and turns and turns. No fuel going into the filter. Takes out the fuel pump to check. The original fuel pump had worn to hell so they took the gasket out so it'd run rather than spending a tenner on a new one. That'd packed in and the drive plunger had fallen out so even after replacing it with my my pump, it didn't work until we found this out.
Mate had an argument with me about what is the TDC mark on the crank pulley. He's determined he is right then wastes 4hrs trying to time up the camshaft which of course ends up a tooth out because he is using the wrong mark. Every time he runs the engine now it's going, the belt loses its tension and it's surging like a bastard and sounding as cammy as hell. Eventually he agrees with me about the timing and that's sorted but the idle is all over the place and now it's dark. At least the bottom end is OK with no rattles and good oil pressure.
OK, decides to take it for a spin round the block sans bonnet as it's bent. No drive. Turns out mates idea of doing a clutch cable on an engine swap is to leave it as it is and lever it on the arm [1]. Because the old clutch was worn to hell, it means the arm is too tight. Adjust it and off I go. Come back 30 seconds later - undrivable due to the rough running.
Great. So I've got a car I've sunk more than £3k in with a bent bonnet that was resprayed less than 12 months ago and a motor that runs like cack. I'm sat in the car with my head in my hands contemplating driving it into the nearest tree. I've had enough and I'm all for giving in. To top it all, I decide to put a few things in the boot whilst I get my head together and now the boot lock decides not to latch.
Anyway, mate decides to check the valve clearances to find two as slack as hell and 5 tight. Reset them and now it's idling OK. Can't believe it was just that.
And now the autochoke unit has decided to drip. We go and have something to eat before I put a sledgehammer to the car.
It's now 8pm. We manage to get the bonnet on the car and get it shut although it sticks up at one side. I decide to go home and pick it up in the morning.
Goes back the following morning with the missus and a towrope so she can follow me home and tow it back if needed.
Gets to my mates house and it fires first time and runs lovely. Put some stuff in the boot and the latch closes. Drive it back home without incident and when I get back, all the leaks have stopped.
Friggin car. It's worse than the wife!
Going to the bodyshop tommorrow to get an idea of whether the bonnet is worth saving and how much it'll fleece me for.
On the plus side, when I changed the insurance, they said it wasn't anymore expensive.