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Streetwise

Hi Guys,

Probably the first. Not the last, bought a Streetwise y'all see. Trouble is, she was a bit slow - but my mates said if I chipped her it would make her go faster.

Anyway, took me ages to find a newly tarmaced road, went down it about

50 and got loads of chips in it (incl. one in the windscreen).

I didn't notice ANY improvement in the performance... how gay is that? Now the paintwork's ruined too.

Anyway, my mate Juablo said if I tape a slipper to the air intake it should do wonders. It has done wonders, taken about 5secs off the

0-60 so that's pretty good going really.

Does anyone know how this works? I don't know the ins and outs - I just do as I'm told but don't really see how it could work.

Also can anyone advise me on how to clean the carb on the Streetwise, I think it's blocked a bit as performance has dropped a bit and it tends to splutter.

TIA

Hamilton Osimo

"Working hard so you don't have to."

Reply to
Hamilton Osimo
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Yep, must keep your kipper oiled, otherwise it won't filter properly, and the gills will clog.

Local autoparts store should have Omega 3 on the shelf in specialist oils.

If they don't have it, try Ann Summers, they used to keep it in the Erotic driving accessories for women section, along with the lace edged string back driving gloves, the fetish rubber steering wheel cover, and vibrating gearknobs.

Reply to
MeatballTurbo

Nah, we get completely incomprehensible gibberish posted here all the time.

Reply to
Scott M

Look, if I wanted some smart arse reply I would have posted my message to uk.rec.cars.lamers.

This is a serious problem. I am looking to get some serious performance out of the Streetwise and you're not helping.

I can't help but muse at the serious responses that you people give to the most trivial and probably fabricated problems, yet when someone genuinely need of help comes along you laugh in my face.

I guess it's symptomatic of British society these days. We live in a drug and alcohol fuelled environment (thank heavens the Streetwise runs on unleaded petrol). All I wanted was a little help.

I will hold you ALL personally responsible if she blows when I'm on my way down to Devon. The M69 is a fast road, especially as you pass Exeter sevices which is mostly downhill.

My old Fiesta caught fire down there. Now will someone please help me, I'm at my wit's end.

Hamilton "Working hard so you don't have to"

Reply to
Hamilton Osimo

There's a good dealer hangs out beside my local off license.

Reply to
Dave Plowman

Jay or Silent Bob?

Reply to
Phil Howard

Why not post something we can understand? Chips? Slipper? I for one haven't got a clue what a "Streetwise" is anyway. And I can't recall any car I've owned that had trouble doing 50 or more.

Also, the M69 is nowhere near Exeter and just what does your old Fiesta catching fire there have to do with anything?

Hang about, you're not part of the Turing Test are you?

Reply to
Scott M

Streetwise sounds like some form of moped.

Oh google throws up:

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Hamilton Osimo try overcharging it.

Or could it be the Rover monstrosity?

Reply to
Depresion

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I hope it's the scooter otherwise the taste police WILL be arresting him.

Reply to
Tim S Kemp

The one with the Scenic RX4-style plastic abortions fitted?

Reply to
Phil Howard

Yeek! You sure?!?!?!

Reply to
Phil Howard

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