Car Colors - slightly off topic

Applied Color Research Laboratories

Department of Advanced Colorimetric and Demographic Studies

A Study of the Relationship of New Car Buyer Color Preferences and Personality Traits.

Synopsis of Findings:

Red:

Red cars are generally purchased by chronic underachievers with no personality but seeking some sort of excitement in their otherwise drab, pointless lives. Meek and mild most of the time, red car drivers can never resist an opportunity to showoff their lack of driving skill in front of a crowd.

Yellow:

Without fail, yellow car people appear bright, cheerful, and easygoing. This is due to their inability to comprehend what is going on around them and to deal with the fact that the world is not a great place to live. If the village idiot could drive, it would be in a yellow car.

Blue:

Even on a good day, blue cars drivers are moody, gloomy, and bitter and can not understand how everyone else can not be the same. Unless you want to hear a lot of whining, never ask a blue car owner "How's it goin'?".

Green:

Green car people love money - and hate to part with it. Not frugal, just downright cheap, they will insist on a detailed accounting of every penny whenever money is involved.. Not fun people to go to lunch with.

Black:

Probably for a good reason, black car owners are shady and secretive, always appearing to be hiding something sinister. Do not waste your time telling jokes to these people; they have no sense of humor.

White:

White car people appear on the surface to be open, carefree, and gregarious; but no one knows their true nature. It is known that they have some of the attributes of all the other colors and it is easy to become confused when talking to a white car person.

Silver/Gold:

No one will be surprised to learn that owners of silver/gold cars are cold, brittle, and as hard as their metal hued vehicles. Devoid of any real interest in the rest of humanity, silver/gold car people are only happy when in the company of their own kind.

Orange:

Encountering an orange car person for the first time you will be overwhelmed by the self confidence and strong personality, maybe just a little too strong. After a few minutes you will realize you are trapped. Do anything possible to avoid making initial contact with an orange car owner.

Brown:

Earthy, slovenly, buyers of brown cars like the practicality of not having to wash their cars, preferring instead the patina of several months accumulation of dirt and grime as an expression of their "oneness with the earth". Do not EVER be within 100 feet of a brown car when the trunk is opened.

Purple:

Spiritual, dreamy, sometimes not seeming to be in the same world, let alone on the same page as others they might be with, purple car owners can not understand the effect their free form driving has on those who follow the rules. Ride at your own risk in purple cars.

Grey:

Indecisive, confused, indiscriminate, and perfectly harmless, buyers of grey cars don't know who they are, where they are going, and are only slightly aware of even being here. Easily lead, grey car buyers can be talked into anything except buying a different color car.

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Jack G
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