Perhaps all of that is true Phillip, butthe OP is complaining that his dipstick reports too much oil, and you have described a half dozen reasons why his dipstick ought to report low oil levels.
I do not dispute that checking the oil the first thing in the morning is probably the best strategy, but one can also check in the middle of the day after having been driving around for a while, and discount a reading that is a half quart down as being the result of oil being carried around in the uppermost reaches of the engine.
Having said all of that, the OP seems to be the original owner of a '98 model car, surely he would have checked the oil enough times by now to have seen this ...