An ugly woman walks into a shop with her two kids.
The shopkeeper asks, "Are they twins?"
The woman says, "No, he's 9 and she's 7. Why? Do you think they look alike?"
"No," he replies, "I just can't believe you got laid twice."
Good one. Maybe she was a LIEbrawl DEMONrat fembonazi who got turkey basted by her Lesbian lover?
A woman stops at the supermarket to pick up a few items on her way home from work. After making the rounds through the aisles, she arrives at the register, unloads the contents of her shopping cart onto the conveyor belt, and stands gathering her thoughts as she waits for her purchases to be rung up by the cashier.
A moment later the man behind her in line, disheveled and visibly drunk, comments, "Lady, I bet you're single!"
The woman starts to ignore the drunk, but her curiosity is aroused. She examines her merchandise: a package of fresh pasta, a container of pesto sauce, a whole cantaloupe, a tube of Crest toothpaste and a package of 75-watt lightbulbs. How on earth could he have known she was single, just from looking at her purchases?
She turns around and asked, "Yes, you're right; I *am* single. But I've got to know: how did you come to realize that?"
"Because you're really ugly," the drunk says.
Geoff
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