Thanks for all the advice, fellows, I really appreciate it. Well, weekend mechanic that I am, I was able to remove more items (air cleaner assy, charcoal cannister) to get more leverage room, grasped that sorry excuse for a nut with my big channel-locks and literally with all my strength (in that tight space) was able to turn the nut back into the old filter -- crossthreading seems too delicate a term, it was really wedged in there. It held gas pressure but, I'll schedule a session with my Toyota service man and let him fix me up with a new filter and line if needed. I have to draw the line somewhere: All I need to make an amateur mistake and end up on the shadow traffic as a "car fire". I'll stick to mechanical things, electrical things, fluids, and maintenance.
For those attempting this I would listen to the guys who helped me above. My experience indicated: Maybe changing at 60k intervals would alleviate my problem (140k of deterioration), but definitely use penetrating oil (my top banjo bolt unsealed and came out fine-with 18" breaker bar!), I worked from above with a handy mirror (preferable to gas dripping on my face), leverage with short wrenches and limited space was a real problem, removing the air assy and cannister was easy and gave more room, I like the idea of vice grips on the flare wrench--will use that one in the future, but no room on this job.....actually nix all that: take it to the dealer, or Dan.