Hi, Ted - - -
If you're going to do it with any regularity, *do* get yourself a torque wrench! The "20-40" foot pounds may cause grief sooner or later. If nothing else, the porcelain insulator in the plug is "hard, but not tough," ie: somewhat on the brittle side, so subject to fracture, and you don't want bits of porcelain dropping into the combustion chamber.
My '02 S60AWD looks for 22'# (30Nm), which I consider a bit high. The wife's '98 V70XC looks for 15-18'#. Anything more than what it takes to crush down the gasket is really plenty.
A *light* coat of anti-sieze is definitely in order. I think my 8oz. can of Permatex Commercial and Aircraft Grade is over 40 years old, so the comment about the stuff lasting is valid. The silicon lube is also a "forever" purchase and makes life a good bit easier.
bob noble Reno, NV, USA