. . . snipped-for-privacy@nope.com (Doc) wrote in...... Marshy, Where the hell ya' been you crazy bastard?
Doc ========= =========
Doc, funny thing happened................
I took a vacation, up to Lynchburg Tennessee........
While I was there........figured I bide as well take a tour of the Jack Daniels Distillery.
Well I forked over my money, and they stuck me in with a group of AutoZonedOut managers that was in town for a sales seminar. The first room the tour dude took us to was the "Jack Daniels History Showcase and Whiskey Emporium". When we walked through the turnstyle....there's this little table sit'n there with "DOZENS" of shot glasses of top quality Tennessee Sip'n Whiskey.........well......allrighty then...........
Me, always wanting to be courteous, I let all them AutoZonedOut managers go through the door first......you know.....jest so's they could be up front to hear the tour dude better. Well.....they all get on pass the little table, and being as the AutoZonedOut corporate CEO was leading them.......not a one of em partook of the free samples.
Not want'n to be rude, impolite, or looked on as shunning a good product.......I knocked back about a dozen of them shot glasses.......... Well.....the tour dude starts spewing forth with all the why's, where's, and how do's of the whiskey biz.....all the while these AutoZonedOut dudes is ask'n a bunch of tour delay'n questions, diagnose'n the tour dudes spewings, confer'n mongst themselves bout how they could better improve things, basically jest prolonging the move to the next room...... where I'm think'n there's likely another one of them little tables with more free samples!!!! Now Doc, you know I'de be the last one to leave off on a good debate bout important matters.....but ....... with all the the drinks I've had over the years.....I figured this situation wasn't likely to enlighten me on the matter of whiskey one bit !!!
So........I took off on a tour of my own...and left all them AutoZonedOut dudes back there debating the aspects of the whiskey buisness.
Now it's been bout 30-45 minutes since I downed them "free samples".........and I'm not real clear on my right and left anymore, so that tour map they gave me wuz of little use...i stuck it in my pocket and jest started ambling around out of pure directional instinct, when I come to this HUGE ARSE open area full of whiskey barrels. These were'nt no ordinary barrels Doc, they were as big as houses.....I swear. Vision yerself a Tanker truck sit up on end......I'm telling you Doc....these kegs wuz huge, and each one had a little door at the base of it. I looked around in there for awhile, you know, just trying to get a good understanding of what the whole thing wuz all about (there wasn't one of them "free sample" tables to be found).....and try to learn something. After a short while, I get a little thirsty...........
Now there ain't a single tap on a one of them kegs, just the little doors at the bottom of each one. I'm think'n if I open up one of them doors, a big mess is going to be made. I look around a bit more, and there's this ladder leaning up side one of them kegs.........
I was really thirsty by now Doc.
So.......I climb up this ladder to the top of that keg, just so's I could go back home and say I'd looked in one, you know??? Well.....I get to the top..........
Doc? Did you know that them brewery's don't put lids on their kegs?
Well.....you know, like I said, I was get'n kinda thirsty......and being as no one was there to tell me not to ......and the lid was off.....and I was jest a bit dry mouthed....I stick my hand down there to get me a little taste.....jest to wet my vocal cords you know? But the dang thing wasn't filled to the top, and I my arm wasn't long enough....
Doc......I was real thirsty............
So....I'm thinking, I could likely climb over the side.....hang down there with one arm....use the other to kinda ladle up a little something.
Doc... I fell in .................
took me 4 months to drink that thing down to the bottom.........and get to that little door to get myself out of there..........
yeah...... I could'a yelled fer help when I heard all them AutoZonedOut dudes come through...... I could'a jest swam on down and opened the door.... I could'a used my pocket screwdriver to work loose the boards.....
......... But....
My pride wouldn't let me ask fer help from no AutoZonedOut dude.....
I wasn't sure I could hold my breath long enough to git to the bottom and open that door..(all that special tobacco over the years)...
I wasn't bout to ruin a good keg.....
So I jest hunkered up and took the hard way out....and drank up all that whiskey.....and walked out that little door.....no mess made, no body bothered, no harm done.....
any whoo....... I spect the headache to be gone any day now.
good to see ya Doc,
marsh ~stirs the shroom juice boiling on the stove... tips ladel to the room and toasts the regulars~ ======== ========