HOW TO COOK A HAM IN FIVE EASY STEPS
INGREDIENTS: 1 HAM FULLY SEASONED, (TECH, GENERAL OR HIGHER) 1 PARABOLIC REFLECTOR (100FT DIAMETER DISH) 1 MEGAWATT TRANSMITTER 1 FCC (EXPERIMENTAL PERMIT) 1 POUND BROWN SUGAR
PROCEDURE:
1) PLACE HAM INTO MAIN LOBE OF DISH COVER WITH BROWN SUGAR...
2) MOVE BACK
3) TUNE TRANSMITTER TO l00GHZ CW,
4) APPLY FULL POWER UNTIL EYES OF HAM START GLOWING GREEN...OR ANY OTHER COLOR FOR THAT MATTER...
5) CONTINUE ROASTING UNTIL HE YELLS I'M QRT!