Any idea of a likely source before i start ripping bits off?
- posted
16 years ago
Any idea of a likely source before i start ripping bits off?
In my, albeit limited experience, I've found it frequently falls out of the sky.
Or sprayed up off the road?
Yebbut, it will have come from the sky first.
One of my faves was along the lines of;
"Right-hand engine occasionally missing" "Engine located after brief search"
And another few....
"Something rattling in cockpit" "Something tightened in cockpit!"
"IFF fails to work in OFF mode" "IFF switched to ON mode, works fine!" (IFF = International Friend or Foe transponder equipment)
"No. 2 engine missbehaving in cruise" "No. 2 engine told to behave itself!"
There was an email floating around some years ago with a whole list of these, reputed to have originated within Quantas!! Badger.
Dead flies on windscreen Live flies on order,
Derek
Derek uttered summat worrerz funny about:
That email reduces me to tears each time!
Remember the Old Jasper Carrot sketches for Insurance claim forms....
"The Accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week."
"I turned in to my drive and hit a tree I haven't got".
"I saw the face of an old man as he slid down the bonnet of the car"
That and the Formular 1 car in the Pits with a burst tyre which was sponsored by Durex (apparently - so the gag went - Durex was an Oz brand of selotape)
Ex Pat Ozzies in the UK had some interesting christmas present wrappings.
Lee D
Nige uttered summat worrerz funny about:
Whare is your suspension compressor fitted? I've read something about water and compressors but that may be water in the compressor on the model I have... which incidentlally is in the boot.
Lee
Unless there is a bore hole in the boot, that would explain things. Handy having a bore hole mind, Just need a septic tank in the boot then and you're laughing.
Lee D
On or around Tue, 11 Dec 2007 20:33:41 -0000, "Badger" enlightened us thusly:
yeah, there are several such email lists. I bet it's online somewhere as well. The reputed source is variable, mind, I've seen it ascribed to several places.
Under the bonnet.
Top seal on the top tailgate is leaking.
....like this 'un
Not forgetting... "Whining noise in cockpit area after shutting down". "Removed pilot from cockpit".
This is the one that amused me:
Two traffic patrol officers from North Berwick were involved in an unusual incident while checking for speeding motorists on the A-1 Great North Road. One of the officers used a hand-held radar device to check the speed of a vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill, and was surprised when the speed was recorded at over 300 mph. Their radar suddenly stopped working and the officers were not able to reset it.
Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact recorded a NATO Tornado fighter jet which was engaged in a low-flying exercise over the Border district, approaching from the North Sea.
Back at police headquarters the chief constable fired off a stiff complaint to the RAF Liaison office. Back came the reply in true laconic RAF style:
"Thank you for your message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Tornado had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked onto, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it. Furthermore, an air-to-ground missile aboard the fully-armed aircraft had also automatically locked onto your equipment.
Fortunately the pilot flying the Tornado recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile systems alert status, and was able to override the automated defence system before the missile was launched and your hostile radar installation was destroyed. Good Day..."
TonyB
Yes, that was several years ago IIRC
-- "For those who are missing Blair - aim more carefully."
To reply direct rot13 me
bURRt the 101 Camper
On or around Wed, 12 Dec 2007 21:51:26 +0000, Simon Isaacs enlightened us thusly:
still funny though. I don't think it had the jamming signal when I first heard it, just the missile lock.
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