Sleeper Identification

Here's a repost of something I wrote in the Big Block group in 2000, since Patrick brought up the word "sleeper". Perhaps some of the old timers here will get a grin:

15 Tips for Sizing Up the Street Sleeper

  1. Caked-on dirt covering tire brand on sidewalls: Sneaky - Goodyear or Firestone Sneakier - repro Pro Tracs Uh-oh - M&H Racemaster

  2. Wheels of choice: Sneaky: Stock-looking steelies and dog-dish caps. Sneakier: Slotted aluminum mags that haven't been cleaned in 25 years. Uh-oh: Stock-looking steelies that don't attract a magnet.

  1. Exhaust system: Sneaky: 2 1/2 inch mandrel bent tubes with only one tip below rear bumper. Sneakier: 3 inch stainless tubing ending before rear axle. Uh-oh: 3 inch stainless tubing painted light brown to simulate road dirt.

  2. Front end: Sneaky: Dented hood and rusty fenders. Sneakier: Front clip off a different color car. Uh-oh: Hood and fenders that don't attract a magnet either.

  1. Air induction: Sneaky: Non-functional scoop bondo'd to hood and left unpainted. Sneakier: Under-bumper Ram Air stolen from W-30 Olds at car show. Uh-oh: Nascar air box sealed to cowl plenum.

  2. Gas tank: Sneaky: Painted white to keep fuel cool. Sneakier: Trick fuel cell inside stock tank. Uh-oh: Corroded green steel drum in trunk with twin pumps and faded HazMat labels.

  1. Tacky distraction on back of car: Sneaky: Homemade Pro Mod wing. Sneakier: Continental kit stolen from '57 Mercury at car show. Uh-oh: Continental kit pops open to deploy Deist parachute.

  2. Traction aid: Sneaky: 8-leaf springs and adjustable pinion snubber. Sneakier: Cal-Trac bars painted light brown to simulate road dirt. Uh-oh: 7-foot torque arm anchored to floor under front seat.

  1. Windows: Sneaky: Lots of chips, cracks, and unidentifiable bugs. Sneakier: Purple tint hides sheetmetal dash and liquid-filled gauges. Uh-oh: Stiff breeze flexes windshield in a half inch.

  2. Paint job: Sneaky: Lacquer-based, skillfully applied with spray cans from Sears. Sneakier: Water-based, skillfully applied with rollers from Home Depot. Uh-oh: Cloudburst dissolves water-based paint, revealing "NHRA Record Holder - 1968" on both rear quarter panels.

  1. Engine management: Sneaky: No tach; hi-beam indicator converted to shift point light. Sneakier: AM radio face converted to tachometer. Uh-oh: MSD box converted to give driver electric shock at 8500 rpm.

  2. Shifter: Sneaky: Auto shifter on the column, ratchet shifter on floor. Sneakier: Auto shifter on the column, 4 speed shifter on floor. Uh-oh: Auto shifter on the column, Lenco Batch o' Levers on floor.

  1. Steering wheel: Sneaky: Split, worn original wheel with horn button missing. Sneakier: Low rider chain wheel with Cheech Marin signature horn button. Uh-oh: Butterfly drag wheel with picture of John Force taped to center.

  2. Tacky interior distraction: Sneaky: Fuzzy dice hanging from rear view mirror. Sneakier: Shrunken head hanging from rear view mirror. Uh-oh: Platinum Summit charge card hanging from rear view mirror.

  1. Driver's mental competence: Sneaky: Listens to Barry Manilow on slide-out 8-track player before race. Sneakier: Calls mom on cell phone to check on laundry status before race. Uh-oh: Chucks 8-track player and cell phone out window, hooks up nitrous line to crash helmet before race.

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CobraJet
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