A garage owner arrived at Heaven. He was very upset and shouted all the way to Petrus's office. "What kind of justice is that?" he shouted, "me, a healthy guy, having to die at 35"! Didn't I have a right to live as long as anyone else? Petrus said, "wait a minute, my friend, let me check your data". He sat down at his celestial computer and started typing on the keyboard and clicking the mouse. "Here we are", he said, "you are John Smith, right?" OK, you are 114 years old, it was about time you died!" "What!", the man said, "how can that be? - I am just 35 years old, not a day more, there must be a bug in your f... computer!" "Oh no, Petrus said, this one is infallible".... "It just computed all the hours of labor you invoiced your Toyota customers".
OT -> joke
Oct 17, 2005
20 Replies
Works equally well with software consultants.
Charles of Kankakee, who used to be one.
A man who did not behave too well in his life comes to Hell. But since his sins were only light, he was given the choice of the department where he would remain for eternity and so he was given a full tour of the establishment. First he arrived at a station, where 3000 people were just being burnt alive. It was horrendous, not to speak of the screams, the smell etc, so he said "no, thank you, let me see the next station". Here, about 10,000 people were being torn into shreds and crushed under the tracks of bulldozers. Terrible. He said, "no, thank you, let me see the next station". In the same fashion, he went past several more sections where thousands of people were impaled, boiled, bathed in acid, etc. Nothing would be to his taste until he arrived in front of a huge hall, maybe half a mile across, and in the middle of it, there was a gigantic heap of s*it. On top of the heap, there were about 1000 guys sitting in a circle and having tea. A few hundred red devils were watching. The guy thought, " hi, that looks better, I guess I could get used to this place". At that moment, the chief devil clapped in his hands and shouted "tea time's over folks , all heads under again!".
God!...this thing needs a suspenceful buildup then a funny punchline...
*snip great joke*
I LOVE it!
Natalie, snipping and stealing
*snip*
I've heard that one, but it's a classic
Natalie
*fwap*
That joke's great - it's old, but it's great, you philistine
Natalie
You ARE kidding, right?...
Might not be exactly appropriate for Toyota - more for GMs, but let's face it - we get scalped by mechanics (Not all, but many)
Natalie
Ok...perhaps I'm humour impaired then, just didn't sound funny to me...maybe it's an off day here... :)
*pie in Gord's face*
Is that better?
;-)
Natalie
Shaving cream or real custard?
Charles of Kankakee
("Shaving cream, feel nice and clean, Shave every day and you'll always look keen."
-Dr Demento)
"Charles @ Kankakee" ...
Um...Gillette...
I remember
Natalie, old broad
I got burned financially on that one once - was invited to an informal birthday party with a bunch of newsgroup/chat room friends, and there was a 'pie in the face' running gag going around at the time.
I very seriously asked what I should bring, and the serious sounding response said "bring a pie" but didn't specify what kind - So I went and got a premium Marie Callendar fresh-baked Banana Cream Pie. An "eatin' pie" that I took great pains to get it there in a big ice chest properly cold and in one piece...
... the pie that proceeded to get splutted in Michelle's face and then splattered all over the patio at the Neon Cactus. 8-0
I could have bought a pre-baked graham cracker crust and a can of whipped cream and been about $15 ahead. That, or brought both and we could have 'rescued' the real pie for dessert/ the "birthday pie" as originally intended.
-->--
Hey, that makes me an OOF. . . . Official Old Fart.
Charles
I prefer pumpkin pie for my birthday over cake.
Charles of Kanakee (facing another birthday soon.)
"Bruce L. Bergman" , "Charles @ Kankakee" :
Oh man - what a drag
Natalie
"Charles @ Kankakee"
Just don't fart here - it's a small NG
Natalie
"Charles @ Kankakee" ...
:Ewwww - sweet potato pie, you philistine
Natalie
Didn't know I was a Philistine. Thought I was more of a cretin? Can't stand sweet potato pie. I didn't live in the South quite long enough for that, though I did live long enough to prefer sweet tea over regular tea. (If it doesn't rot your teeth out, it's not sweet enough.)
Charles
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