HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2059
>
> Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
> largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as
> California .
>
> White minorities still trying to have English recognized as
> Mexifornia's third language.
>
> Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States =A0crops and > livestock.
>
> Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
>
> Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
>
> Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10
> more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
>
> France =A0pleads for global help after being taken over by =A0Jamaica. No
> other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
>
> Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported
> legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
>
> George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060.
>
> =A0Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and
> reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
>
> 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight > loss.
>
> Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
>
> Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive
> year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
>
> Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
> speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
>
> Abortion clinics now available in every High School in =A0United > States .
>
> Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for
> 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and > Fridays.
>
> Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
>
> Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil > rights.
>
> A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony, They Had simultaneous Headaches. >
> Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with Only
> 3 illegitimate children.
>
> New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly
> swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January
> 2060..
>
> IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent..
>
> Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Love it! :D