The Barnsley Land Rover fan factory is delighted to announce that the next model will roll off the production line on January 4th 2007. Managers had expected an earlier delivery date, but a comprehensive examination of the production facility shows that development work on the new model has only been in progress for about ten weeks and major components require substantial further development. Rumours that the size of the manufacturing plant could indicate development of two models have been specifically refuted.
There is no news as yet on the specific features of the new model, particularly the exhaust configuration. That is likely to be announced in approximately 10 weeks time. It is thought that managers are hoping to retain compatibility with many of the accessories from the old model, but a radically different layout may make this impossible, incurring substantial extra costs.
Regular users will be hoping that the new model will have less wind noise, lower emissions and generally reduced noise compared to the existing model, now over 3 years old.
That model has earned a reputation for sudden leaks and regular cosmetic damage to panels. In recent times the Command and Control system has been extremely troublesome, with most commands being ignored and some causing exactly the opposite response. Occasionally the system will repeat the instruction over and over, or ask "Why?" after each command. The only reliable method of resetting the system is a sharp slap to the underside, although is strongly discouraged in most manuals.
The new model is expected to carry a traditional British name, rather than some of the more modern nomenclature favoured by other manufacturers. The name will also be properly spelled, with no missing letters to cut costs.
The aftermarket is expected to supply a wide range of accessories soon after launch and it is understood that manufacturers are already gearing up to start production of a range of protection products, mostly from renewable materials. Bonnets, head linings and skirts are thought to be in the design stages and planned in a variety of neutral colours.
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