What to stick on his windscreen which wont come off easily? [OT]

Perhaps they could have different Days, so one could decide which annoyances to avoid.

Monday could be Dotty Pensioner Free Day Tuesday could be Fat People Blocking The Aisles And Talking On Mobile Phones Free Day Wednesday could be Children Free Day Thursday could be Young Lovers Smooching in Low-Calorie Hot Drinks Aisle Free Day Friday could be People You Used To Work With And Never Want To Meet Again Free Day Saturday could be Indicisive People Who Take Twenty Minutes To Choose What Type Of Value Digestive They Want To Buy And Another Twenty Minutes To Find Their Wallet/Purse At The Checkout Free Day

Owain

Because you're dealing with the devil. It also ends up being a bit of a burden on the residents and others on legitimate business.

We have a flat that we rent out - it's in a housing association run block and isn't that far from Hounslow town centre. The car park has allocated spaces for the residents, and it used to be unpoliced.

More and more frequently people started parking there when going shopping, or leaving their car there and going to work for the day. So the HA employed a clamping firm to police it - above board, completely legit operation.

Unfortunately this now means that every resident has to have a sticker on display in their car. They also have a limited book of vouchers for visitors, and you can't easily get hold of more vouchers when they're used up (they have to be filled out with the date, so it's one per day - I don't know what would happen if a visitor stayed and slept in & the clampers came round early in the morning). All other parking is either yellow lines or 2 hours max meters.

So, every time I have to do some work on the flat (which has sometimes taken more than a day) I have to use up their supply of vouchers. We can't get a permit because it's strictly one per flat.

So, it's solved the parking problem, but with quite a bit of restriction on the resident's peaceable enjoyment of their parking space. You really don't want to employ the services of a clamping firm unless you've carefully thought the whole issue through and are happy with the restrictions that go with the schemes.

Hate to burst your bubble, but the day your leg falls off, or organs pack in, or any other dibillitating event happens, a little blue card doesn't appear in a puff of smoke in your windscreen.

No one suggested it did. However until the little blue card does appear, you should not use spaces reserved for those with little blue cards.

I choose not to apply for a badge, but I often have problems managing

I only ever use disabled spaces at the local large supermarket. When in town, I either park in the free area next to the shops I use, or if that's full, come back later. Or on a good day, park a little further out, as I will only be picking up one or two very small items.

To get a blue badge, I would have to apply for DLA. I would almost certainly get it too, but I manage without it, and don't want to be a further burden on the system.

Seems bloody silly to ask the government for 50 odd quid a week just so I can park in the disabled spot at Tesco at half ten on a Thursday evening, maybe that's just me though?

I only have mild problems, and could do most of my shopping after midnight if pushed, when the normal spaces close to the doors are always free.

However, you're saying that if someone does have some horrific disability spring up on them, they shouldn't go shopping till the paperwork's done? I know councils are a level of pettiness all to themselves, but I'd like to think that supermarkets would just about comprehend that the poor legless/ neckless/ etc bugger genuinely requires that space, and not go jobsworth crazy. Hardly in their best interests to say "I'm sorry sir, I can see you're missing a couple of limbs, and your breathings somewhat laboured, and that haunted look in your eyes is rather a concern, but you 'aven't got a blue card, so you can't park there", is it?

Nother fun thing is to jack teh car up and support it on its suspension with an inch of space under all for whhels.

Most people don't notice the bricks if the car 'looks' right....takes em ages to realise why it won't move.

Another good trick is a wheeled trolley jack. Jack upo teh back wheels with and wheel the cars so all the illegals are nose to tail touching and put yours at the back, so none of them can move.

Because they are in a voting majority?

A brick?

:0)

One of the better tricks might be to superglue a dead weasel, all four feet, on.

I cable wrapped one to my myopic neigbours car radio aerial once. It was still there a week later....

LOL You forgot the people who use the 10 items or less till and then want to write a cheque and take longer than using a standard checkout. Or the people who need to read the labels on every can to decide which E numbers to eat :-)

OI! That's mine, copyright ME. You can't do that. It wouldn't be right.

Richard

You're the plonker here, Have you heard of the blue badge scheme? You get a badge, you display it, then that entitles you to park in those type of bays.

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-- Kind Regards Neil B Orange CS - +447837614753 Live Life in the Fast Lane -

A nice one for a sunny day:

Empty a jar of honey beside the driver's door. They step in it, and get it all over the carpet, the pedals, their shoes.

It is one of the most disgusting things to have to deal with. For added nastiness add dogcrap.

Alternatively, if the car has a fresh air ventilation grille on the bonnet or below the windscreen, pour cream in it.

Richard

can you park a car in front and block it in. then take time to move it when the owner returns?

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Your head, you stupid wanker.

Repeatedly bash your tiny little bonce into his windscreen so that he has to clean all the blood and mush off before driving away. That will teach him.

It's very off topic, so take it and f*ck right off.

The message from "Mary Fisher" contains these words:

I can almost guarantee it. And even if there were we didn't provide enough data to cross check against it. Just our new name and address.

The message from Owain contains these words:

You missed out "Parking your trolley sideways across the doors while chatting to a friend who's done likewise and glaring at people who ask you to move" or is that an open event?

In message , RichardS writes

If necessary, I may be able to track down the former owners of my house, and find out what combination of paper and glue was used to make the hideous borders at the tops of the walls. It took *hours* to strip.

I may need to punch them for doing it, mind.